breakup = sad? but i'm HAPPY! i know i'm mean but i can't help it. blame it on urself for being such a spoilt brat. honestly, with u gone, the house is so much neater, esp the kitchen. having a maid to serve u all ur life could be ur fortune or misfortune. having a mother who doesn't know how to discipline could also be ur fortune or misfortune. i think he is better off without u but he can't seem to get u off his mind. what charm do u possess? u're just a breastless & buttless bamboo slut! i can't stand the sight of u. in fact, i HATE u!

sometimes, u really ought to be happy when a couple breaks up esp if u know that one of them is not a good influence. that slut has shamed the cedarian uniform.

my dear says i'm very vengeful! haha! i hate to agree. hell knows no fury like a woman's wrath

ideally, a relationship should be about 2 people in love. however, reality isn't the case. sometimes i just get sick and tired of his dad's childishness and mum's troublesome-ness. sometimes the future looks so bleak. i only know that if i marry that one person, i must have my house. maybe only this way can the relationship really be just solely both of us.

no matter what, i still love u very much and i'm looking forward to our 2nd anniversary.

for those of you who actually still bother to read this DEAD blog: i can't believe i'm actually blogging again after 1yr+++

one whole academic year in NUS has passed..i don't like it here..i don't like what i'm doing..i don't like the projects.. but, it's the same everywhere i guess..

i need a room on campus..or better still, a car..of cos the latter is impossible!!

it's been 19months and we're still going strong..it's alot about inter-dependency..

i just can't wait to graduate!! (maybe the next time i post would be when i'm working full-time..)

OFFICIAL LAST DAY OF WORK!!

exhilirated!!

actually i don't understand why i'm so happy either.

LIBERATION!!

although we are going thru' a very rough patch with mum, we'll pull through.

can't wait for school to start.

unfortunately, i didn't get a place in hall.

oh wellz, just my luck i guess.

at least he has a room in temasek and jem has one in kent ridge.

start asking me out! finally free!

today is friday, tomorrow is saturday, meaning..

HE'LL BE BACK TMR!!

i can't wait to see him! i'm a happy girl now. was in a dilemma whether to attend ken's farewell party tmr evening becos he'll be back.

his mum just called me saying i can take over the car from his cousin tmr. in other words, transportation would no longer be an issue, i can pick him from checkpoint and i can go for the party.

ken treated shawn(couz) & me to fish&co. parkway yesterday. it was supposedly my last meeting with him before he leaves for australia. 3 of us had a seafood platter for 2 - these 2 guys eat so little. i think dear eats 4X more.

guess what? she invited me to ken's farewell at almost the very last minute. maybe she figured out her thoughts already. in any case, i should thank her.

i'm gonna be bored to death tonight. no plans whatsoever. lonely me rotting at home. probably sleeping very early like the past 2 days, 10.30pm and 11.30pm respectively.

i'll miss kenneth but right now, i'm missing dear more than anything else.

I MISS MY DEAR SO MUCH!!

he left early this morning for genting, back only on sat evening. he went only to fulfill his wish of going on a trip with his grandma who is 90+ years old.

watched initial D on mon, it was cool.

caught a lot like love yest, it sucked. maybe not totally sucky but it fell below expectations. ate ben&jerry's strawberry and cookie dough ice creams, they were tasteless.

everything seems wrong now. taste buds flat, appetite gone and loss of sleep. surviving a lot on nescafe at work. busted $136 on skincare products from H2O. retail therapy is not working as well.

bottom line is: i can't live without him.

thursday, 23/06/05

met 8.00am @ somerset. had kaya roti from killiney kopitiam for breakfast. went to mango at centrepoint - SALE!! for once, i'm there so early on the first day. actually it was kinda coincidental. bought a reddish-pink skirt for $23 u.p. $49. dear liked it a lot and had wanted to buy it for me but i still paid in the end. satisfied with my new acquisiton, we took a train to toa payoh to visit his grandma. it was all smiles. headed back to his place @ 11.00am and slacked. had teppanyaki at northpoint (YUCKS!) for lunch. bought ben&jerry's chocolate fudge brownie and cherry garcia. yummylicious! waited till 3.30pm for the vhive delivery men to come becos of a huge cock-up. silly me wrote my hp no. instead of his on the invoice and left my phone in his room all the time. finally, had time for a good nap. woke up at 6.45pm. so late! his parents were back from work and we had to hurriedly cook dinner. ate at almost 8pm. whole family present. dinner was so nice and warm. xiao bai cai, steam seabass, black sauce chicken and lotus root soup. it was a wipeout. i missed homecooked food so much. chilled out in his room, listening to music. wanted to get the newly open pizza but it was sold out. called pizzahut and ate at 11.25pm. rushed to the bus stop to catch the last bus which arrived at 11.37pm. phew! met gabriel on the bus and we continued talking for more than half an hour outside my house. rushed back home to call dear and slept at 1.45am.

it was a simple but meaningful day. certainly no regrets about taking leave.

i'm taking off tmr, i'm so excited, i can't wait! it's just gonna be me, myself & dear! we've hardly time together alone, and tmr we'll both take a break from work.

last night was terrible though. we shed buckets of tears (exaggeration! just so u get my point). i was upset with him, and he got even more upset with himself, and it aggravated the situation. awful experience.

anyway, i've been staying over at dear's place 2 sat nights consec. the room is so cosy and romantic now with the purple ball lightings that i bought from bangkok. the bed is terribly sleep inducing. we sleep in till 11am on sun. the long desk and 2 body hugging chairs from vhive are coming in tmr. once the wall light from ikea is fixed, the room will be complete. i love hanging out in the room.

catching mr and mrs smith tonight. there're still quite a number of shows that i wanna watch. a lot like love, initial D and a japanese movie about a woman coming back to life after being dead for a year and her husband making her fall in love with him all over again. it was being reviewed on primetime morning today and it sounded touching.

i'm into lovey-dovey stuff now becos i'm in LOVE! maybe Mr Right has just appeared before me. *muackz!*