i rotted at home alone the whole afternoon, promised myself to do my way overdue tutorials but as usual i was juz too lazy to move. had family dinner today, juz the nuclear family. quite shuang la. had peking duck for 74¢ when u order $50 and above. wat a great offer rite? anyway feeling dam guilty now. wanna puke. haha. ahhh haven watch 'finding nemo', tink i beta do so soon. been hogging the vcd for so long. i'm at a loss for words. and by the looks of it, there'll be nutin going on for the claz tmr, wat's new rite? organising an outing on weexin's dae, hopefully tt one comes true. wish us luckZ!

"Just because you know someone doesn't mean you love them, and just because you don't know people doesn't mean you can't love them. You can fall in love with a complete stranger in a heartbeat, if God planned that route for you. So open your heart to strangers more often. You never know when God will throw that pass at you."

tis is so not happening!! ahhhh.. had learning journey today: a trip to the bedok NEWater plant. nutin fascinating. had pw early in the morn. *sianz* went to parkway food court to eat. guess wat? daniel wong was there too. it's too much of a coincidence. felt awkward. he probably be tinking, "oh no! it's one of the crazee girls!" nvm. left quickly hoping to escape, but god noes, it got worse!! bballers had training, shuld hv guessed as much since DW was in pe-tee. saw jaron..yet again! at tt moment, i seriously felt like digging a hole in the ground to bury my face. totally embarrassed!! first time i see jaron, i don't wanna look. the situation is reali awkward now. wat hv we done?!! die die. i tink i gonna lie low. muz learn to keep my eyes to myself although tt is almost impossible. haha. roaming eyes! oh well, life is short rite? so muz make the best of wat u can.. yea!

"Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall."

goSh! can't believe we (crystal, xiaohui, pam, jan, lisa, wingz & me!) saw jaron (with his grp of RI frens i tink) at taka juz now. it was a SUCCESSful 4e3 outing. dint noe fried vegetables at marché was so tasty. next time can eat tt liaoz although its so dam eX! anyway it was still well done. girls rox! hehe. oh and andy is with grace. she brought him along for her tk clique gathering. dam! feel so outdated. hv to rely on "ms ba-gua" to update me. reali miz the tk days. the outing was chao shiok! sorie guys, but it feels reali good to be out with sec sch buddies again, so much better than with the present claz. maybe it's juz me, or maybe it's juz the claz and all its friction. getting kinda irritated with all the love problems. seems like everyday someone's mood will be extremely low. dam sian-ified la. nvm shall not elaborate. speaking in general, not pointing fingers at anybody.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend."

MARS is near earth. wow! aren't u the least bit excited? there was star gazing in sch yest. went back aft i had dinner with mavis. tink the Mars i saw the 2 weeks ago was much clearer and brighter. played pool with shawn cos i asked him to star gaze then felt reali bad when there was nutin great to see. oh, he had supper and forgot to pay. the shop owner oso forgot abt it i tink. had to go back today to pay on his behalf, juz to ease his conscience. wth..! haha.

wrote a GP essay tis morning. "Why are more couples today opting for smaller families? Do you think it is a good thing?" some what like social studies. got most of my pts from there anyway. had tons of stuff to write but due to time constraint, i could only pen the more impt factors. ms low kept reminding me abt watching out for short paragraphs as wat i always do. she commented tt my ideas are gd but juz not well-developed. so, the intro and first pt were made of long paragraphs. however, slowly, as i progressed, the paragraphs shortened so much tt my conclusion was only abt 4 lines long. haha ms low was like, "u ah.. cannot la.." goSh! i tink i really need help. gotta find a way to learn how to develop and elaborate on my pts.

hmmz tmr having teachers' day celebrations then there's games. wanna go back tk but not allowed to leave sch. how? saw ms chuan at parkway foodcourt juz now. she said i would be missing out on a good concert. ok tt's besides the pt. looking forward to tmr. gonna go for dinner to celebrate lisa's bdae which was on 25-08-03. kinda like a claz gathering at the same time, maybe more of a clique meet-up. nv reali had a successful one so far. tmr should be fine.

today shall be a little different, shall leave u with a poem instead. tink it muz be due to sherlyn's influence. =P

If I should bare to you my heart
and within, all my soul’s desire–
the very essence of my being–
would you hold it as a treasure,
so precious and wonderfully rare;
or will you take it without concern,
and thoughtlessly cast it aside
as nothing more than foolishness?

If I wrote for you sonnets of love
and ascribed to you all my heart
in melodies of total adoration,
would they enrapture your mind
and make you forget the world;
or will you laugh in secret scorn,
picking out my flaws of verse,
cringing at my off-key notes?

If I should dare touch your tender skin
and feel your flesh, soft and warm
with my trembling hands that yearn to hold,
would you respond in impassioned love,
and pull me close to receive your kiss;
or will you simply pull away from me
and show me the coldness of your heart
as you reject me in complete derision?

If I could find the courage somehow
and risk it all for your prize of love,
I would coax my heart to share these words
and hope that they would hit their mark.
Yet, in silence will I hold these thoughts
and shall never speak them out to you,
for it is better to have never known
than to know what I could never bear.

so many comp viruses lurking around, dare not come online. anyway i'm back! like.. finally? heh. oh chem prac was ok although i already know one of the cations i found is wrong. forget it. of cos, i dint make it for the selections. the moment i asked for the selection criteria, all hope was gone. at least a 180 avg! how is that gonna be possible when i haven bowled for 2 mths? well, paid $40 juz to bowl. hesitated about going down on sunday but since i wanted the school to pay, i turned up. cheapo rite? however i was rather impressed with my performance, dint do too badly after all. dint see the final results but if i'm not wrong i should be around 10th position?

noe sth? i onli had 2 stress-free days! which was the weekend. got my written report back on mon. goSh! tink it was a case of worse than rejection! needs major restructuring. seems like all the efforts were furtile? felt dam depressed. tis learning is far too steep. i'm still rather tense now, can't really relax. too many things in my mind, too many things undone, too many things waiting to be done. arghh! why? why? why? i wanna be at peace with myself.

moving on to a lighter note, i chatted with kb sometime laz week, hope he's doing fine over there. wish him all the best in his endeavours there.

clocked 5 hours of CIP transcripting a part of an interview today at marine parade cc. noe wat? i only managed to transcript 30 min of it which was already 5 pages long. it was literally, a back-breaking process. juz seated in front of the labtop typing non-stop. had fun in the pantry though. sherlyn & i were "ransacking" their food reserves. trust me! it was almost a storeroom full of food. they had so many empty biscuit tins, packets of different beverages and even liquor! *yumZ* the tot of alcohol makes me high. =p

actually sherlyn & i were gossiping abt cx & jm. from a personal pt of view, their relationship is kinda superficial? at least that's how i see it from their behaviour. or is tt the norm? i dunno. well, as long as she's happy, anything goes i guess. sherlyn was asking, given jm's position, would i still want to be with the guy even though i noe he's gonna leave me very soon? i guess i would. it is the "bu guan tian chang di jiu, zhi zai hu chen jing yong you" theory. make the best of wat u can while u can rite? well i tink it really differs from situation. aiyoh i realised there's been so much discrepancy abt the love issues in my claz. most of them are trapped in a love web. wat can i say? they asked for it? tt's not exactly the case also, maybe it could've been avoided? i dunno. to reali noe u hv to be in a similar position i guess. somehow outsiders noe best? maybe there's some truth in tt? well, MayBe..

ooh juz found out janelle (arts fac cap) is with marcus ( swimmer from vs), he was from my strata tt's why i noe. only impression of him was a "cute" (ok, he's not cute but the cutest in the strata, tt's how bad it was) boy who refused to talk, machiam got gold inside sia. was rather surprised. ppl reali change dunch they.

woah! i've written a long chunk of crap. tink there is much more but that is all i hv in my head rite now. it's the kind of "tao tai" system. i feel so computerised. hmmz i'm toking to ken teo now. so i shall say tataz!

"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well."

tmr is D-day. pray for me folks. "flying" down to cine str8 after chem prac. i'm one step closer to realising my dream, but yet so far. the irony of life. pulling thru'! c'mon girl, u're halfway there. i believe u can do it! hv faith in urself ya? as long as u dare to dream, dare to achieve, u'll make it somehow. trust in urself and everything else will "trust" u too.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

S-T-R-E-S-S!! draft one of written report is almost completed. left onli the annex and biblio to print. gonna do it aft sch tmr. so far, i've been staying back till aft 5, not exactly optimistic abt tmr being an exception. seriously, nv slogged so hard b4. tis is considered half of the burden off my shoulders, then why the fuck am i still so stressed up?! becos.. there was an email forwarded to by a grumpy, old, hypocritical aunt who criticised my nanny and got me so worked up, i started to go on a binge. FUCK it man! my world seems upside down, transforming into a Living Hell.

wat's next? combined schools selections tis sat. again, wat the fuCk?! tis is all so last minute information. till now ms siow has not informed me. why is vj's admin juz so disorganised? in other words, so FUCKED UP? haven been training, or should i say i haven touched my bowling ball since the last competiton which was in june? can't stand it. don't wanna break down now. my "fantastical" dream of making it into the team is juz gonna be crushed. moreover, there's chem prac? how to go? AAAAHHHHHHH...!!! can someone juz save me? save me from being devoured by the tension i'm facing, by the standards i yearn to achieve. i somehow feel that i'm losing myself, not to mention abt losing sleep. DAM!

oh yes, by the way, i screwed my chinese. how encouraging can tt be? realised my vocab today revovles ard the word "screwed". there seems to be no other appropriate word. as they say, "it never rains but pours." really true how blessings can be counted.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

wah it's been a long break from the comp. been too tied & stressed up with project work and tutorials. had a chinese ca yest. pheW! finally it's over but tts not exactly gd news cos tis coming sat there's chem promo prac. realised it only sometime tis week. another week of pia-ing. *sigh* also, there was the "worm" attack rite? dint wanna take the risk. hehe. i'm kinda paranoid rite?!

juz sent kb off. honestly i was kinda sad to see him go cos the earliest he'll be back is next june? if not, in 2 yrs' time. haiz. suddenly thought of all the things i've done to him, good & bad, these memories will always stay. saw cynthia too, his "dream" girl! looks pleasant, muz say his taste is not too bad aft all. hehe.

was surprised to see william there, nv expected to see him eva again really. he's looking better each day ya. of cos, ian was there too but i guess tonite i wasn't exactly bothered by all my "fantasies", more of juz cherishing every minute tt goes by with kb's presence. gonna miz talking to him on the phone till late at nite, meals we had together, and not forgetting watching sunrise at east coast park, wasn't reali a nice experience though, but wat the hell. at least those were the times.

goSh! it's gonna be another long week ahead. muz prepare myself for battle!

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow grow, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."

"To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness."

finally a successful movie. got the tix alredi. "homerun" at GV marina, 2125h show. watching with my family, aunts & uncle. hopefully got supper aft tt. hehe. *pigz* juz got home from a terrifying visit to the "mouth terrorist" - dentist. she almost tore my mouth apart. worst, she pressed against the left side where it still hurts. arghh.. hate it siaz!
eating gingko nuts with white fungus desert now. *yumz* it's dam shiok! goSh! im so sleepy. lost my perk in sch liaoz. feeling perpetutally tired thru'out the day. wonder why? i've not been sleeping very late wat. haiz. weird. hmmz maybe cos it's the 7th month? haha. choy! i'm joking. hopfully tmr will be an "awaking" day. badminton should help. *yearns to play* been 2 weeks since i last played. will my eagerness kill me? juz lyk how curiosity killed the cat? gdness, how did i even come up with such an analogy? haha muz be too stressed up. onli today then i realized chem prac is in 2 weeks time! and i dunch noe anything. all my pracs are abt fooling ard and copying results. its time to get serious manz..

"It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it."

arghh!! dozed off during analysis(math) today. cant believe myself sia. was juz so freaking sleepy. dint bring my tutorial oso. and she caught me! how sway. haiz. nvm la. make her hate me more onli. doesn't matter. haha. went shopping with panda to search for her present but he finally settled for the display DIY "toy"? made choc strawberries too. quite a failure though still edible. so tired. sleep inducive day siaz. panda is dam sweet towards her la, DUH! oh well, guys r liddat i suppose. today's bowling meeting was another flop. i was not there! wah how proud can i get rite? winghang win liaoz. call me to ask how was it. she actuali forgot abt it when she was the one who informed everyone else. hahaz typical her la. used to it liaoz. it was rather funny la. maybe cos i'm not in ming's shoes. if i was the "chair" i'll be mad! the other girls dint go as well. reali a silent protest, boycotting her. haha. it's all coincidental. maybe everyone's seeing the lite alredi? haha. MAYBE..

"Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance."

darn. dint come home by my current-fav bus 14. instead was ferried home by a 2L mitsubishi galant. oopz! why am i even complaining when i had a free car ride home?! maybe it's cos i dint get to take bus home with ian? lyk we always do? oh well, look on the briter side of it, he was in the car too. in fact, yx sent him home. kew area, houses look nice ya. dunno lehz, it's nice listening to him narrate army life. could it be tt in a way he speaks better than the rest since he's intending to study law? anyway for me, if u're in my gd books, u're in for a treat, anything goes. if not, welcome to the ride in hell! muahahaha. *evil grinz*

tonite's dinner was good. winghang & i were juz fleecing on shawn. bottom line is tt we were broke! brought onli $10 out and used all. ate at suntec marché btw. shared calamari, rosti, pizza & a straWbeRry crepé. *yumz* as usual, jokes were cracked. tink everyone there shuld hv their legs broken, including me. went to Beavers (a pub near the fountain) to catch the arsenal vs man U match. left almost immediate when we had to order drinks. i mean, it was juz not worth spending the money. sent winghang to catch a cab since hitching a ride would hv delayed her by another half an hour or more, juz lyk wat happened to me. kb's flight is next sun, 2354h. gotta go airport. does tt mean i get to see ian again?! hehe i tink so. been seeing him quite frequently. abt 3 times a mth? sometimes every week. ahhh.. i always digress so much when it comes to ian. haha. as i was saying, sad to see kb go though so many things happened. cherish the friendship while u possess it.

haven completed thermochem tutorial. even borrowed jem's but left it untouched. dam. argh. who cares? too tired now. gonna sleeo. worry tmr. nitez!

"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great."

sundays are days for me to slack. been out lyk half the day alredi, still going out for dinner tonite. seems lyk a hP-purchase craze in my family now. juz accompanied my aunt to check out the phones. so it's been 2 days in a row that i've visited the Hello! shop at parkway. how boring rite? feeling so exhausted now. maybe cos i slept at 2am laz nite? haha i'm nocturnal remember? hmmz wonder wat i'm gonna hv for dinner later? now in the process of squeezing a treat outta shawn so tt i can share half the cost of winghang's dinner, tt is if she goes. i sincerely hope she does, dun wanna be pang seh-ed again. onli gd thing i can tink of is tt at least ian can take the same bus home, so i wont be all tt bored. still hv all the science tutorials not completed. not intending to finish. hehe. k.. i shall go watch zhen qing now since i hv nutin beta to do, onli waiting for time to pass.

"We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment when alone together."

phew! cold sweat sia. juz finished GP essay. took almost 2h. totally no inspiration to write. now i feel a huge load of my shoulders. it's been bothering me since wed. ooh i bot a new phone! samsung s300. wasn't intending to get anything but since my mum had balance money from her $500 voucher so i itchy hand muz get sth. hehe. quite fascinated with the polyphonic ringtones. much better quality than nokia's. sth new for a change. quite refreshing. it's more of a yuppie's phone i guess.

NDP was not bad. liked the fireworks! tis yr got star shape. unique. cant believe shawn actuali called juz to let me hear the 21-gunshots. supposedly VERY loud but over the phone sounds normal. he was stupid enuff to stand near it and not wear ear plugs. goSh! how dumb can tt get? i planned to watch the parade but half the time i was toking to my couz. haven seen him for a mth plus i tink. got so much to catch up on. not bad la, at least i feel tt my day was well spent, having done flag day from 10am to 3pm. ALONE! pang seh-ed by lubin so expected keith not to turn up as well. always kena pang seh-ed by guys in my claz. sianz 1/2 lehz.

"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?"

"all 6! all 6!" chants the entire college. boom-boom-boom, the music starts and all the bodies are shaking wildly in the hall. VJc's very own MaSs DaNcEs! tis was the best part of the celebrations for nat. day. rushed off chinese tuition aft tt, it's been a long time. finally visited my nanny aft several weeks. actuali juz wanted to slack at her hse and play with her grandchildren, aged 5 & 1. very cutEee! ended up in marina sq shopping. brought the kids on a train ride. reali enjoyed myself! felt tt the time spent was rather meaningful. it's been quite some time since i last looked aft them. btw, the girl, 5, is reali close to me cos i used to stay at my aunt's place every fri to take care of her since she was born. however, i muz admit it was tiring. dunno why i juz feel a great sense of fulfilment. maybe i've been neglecting them cos of many reasons? frenz? clazmates? basically i've been going out too often and too much. even my family feels neglected. reali negligence on my part, i admit. i've gotta change liaoz.

i'm addicted to jay's album. the odd-numbered songs are nice. listening all day siaz. my recycle bin has a whole lot of david beckham's pix. muz be my sis's doing. but he's dam shUai lor! hehe. tmr i hv flag day. doing with lubin & keith. tink i beta use my megapool's $5 discount card. expiring on 10th aug aft i modified the date. oopz! haha tell u all for wat ah?! anyway to all singaporeans & whosoever: HaPpY 38th NatiOnaL dAy~!

"Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life."

woohoo tmr is nat. day's celebrations! initially planned not to go to sch but finally was convinced by my clazmates to. and i'm still awake now! gosh. it's late. waiting for hair to dry. came back at 2330h from airport, sent ri-liang off to CORK. haha ok, canada. went kenny roger's at century sq for dinner. ordered 2 gambler's set for 10: me, von, sher, weixin, terina, jem, panda, lubin, rL & chunhern. $91.80 siaz. i can finally eat! amazing. a "claz gathering" aft so long? tis time we dint play truth or dare. today's the longest day of school i've had tis whole yr. actual dismissal time: 1530h. however, had KYT make-up lec till 1745h. *pengz* and he was rushing thru the examples. had to copy at a super fast rate. even during chem lec, there was so much to copy. ooh speaking of chem lec, got to see andy. hehe. 03s42 super noisy la. make all the funny comments, von & i juz couldn't stop laffing. arghz! there's so much hmwk to be completed over the wkend. sianz ji pua la. shall try my best ya?

"When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy."

arghh.. why are the ppl ard me so sad? wat's happening? haiz. from a gd mood, now i'm vexed too! von's the least expected person to tell me she's not ok too. dread the tot of going to sch tmr. dun wanna see all the upset faces. summore, rL's flying tmr. *sigh**sigh**sigh* cant help it anymore. to make things worse, my dearest captain set #vjcbowling topic as 'i HATE mR TaN!!! wAd a HoRrIbLe, MeAn pErSoN!!!' what the FUCK?! so much for a captain la. cant u see she's a downright hypocrite?! but wat can i do? nutin. suffer in silence. i feel horrible inside now. dam! tis is bad. can only hope and pray tmr will be a brand new & better day! leave the bad memories behind.

i'm listening to BSB's "Missing U". old song but ya, brings the memories. only mavis will understand rite? tis is so not happening. the song is getting to me. nvm, i'll survive!

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

juz removed my stitches. *ouch* each time the doctor snapped the scissors to cut the thread, the pain juz shot high up. took painkillers, the last of it. missed the badminton session during pe. *sobz* hv a GP essay to complete. looks like i'll be doing the Q on gender. somehow there's juz no inspiration to write. muz slowly cultivate it. thank gdness the dateline is pushed to mon. hmmz still deciding whether to go to sch on fri for nat. day celebrations. if i do, i shuld be going for chinese tuition aft tt. due to the op, i dint go at all the whole of last week. feeling guilty. moreover, there's a ca coming up next sat. then again, tinking abt it, vj seems to hv so many chi tests & exams. there'll be one during promos, another MocK test juz b4 the nov paper. feel so chinese-fied! plus the fact tt most of my clazmates speak mandarin most of the time.

ok. jay's new album is not too bad. nice slow songs with soothing melodies. still considering to buy the album or not? maybe when i'm feeling richer? rite now, i'm so broke! hp bill was dam high for june. fortunately i cant eat solid food yet so can save on food in school. hehe. can diet too! yi ju liang de! woohoo. i'm so bored. i tink i kinda wasted one day slacking. muz do catching up for tutorials liaoz.

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."

ahhh.. stomach hurting lyk siao! doesn't seem lyk the perfect day at all. to start of with, rL was in a terrible mood, hving one of his fiery tempers. *sigh* no one dared stay close to him. surprisingly, jo juz told me he was hoping we show some concern. ironic rite? from previous incidents, everyone learnt their lesson and kept their distance. men say women are hard to understand. i say, men are harder to figure out! PW was productive for once but as usual yuming was absent. i took minutes again aft soo long.

photo taking for bowling - FAILED. photographer dint turn up! ms siow? she was on course. y bother to book the slot today rite? juz utter disappointment. sad to say, ming can't control the team. it was so difficult even for her to gather the team. she turned to khoonwee most of the times to signal him to do sth. *deep sigh* atmosphere was so dense. seems lyk the girls were staging a "rebel" against her. she's lyk a disjoint set. muz hv been cos of her blasting at the yr 1s for not turning up for the talk with tan yew hwee. actuali they dint noe abt it, and it is her responsibility to inform at least the secretary, even shenzhi agreed on tt pt. unfortunately she dint. poor girls got scolded in vain. as for me, i was hving my op tt day, and aft the way i was treated, i don't give a dam!

sherlyn was rather cheery today but deep down her world is collapsing. surprised she msged me. usually would be JeM or Von. i felt quite helpless not exactly knowing the words to console her. guess it would be most comforting to speak from experience but i hv none! it rained today, izzit then enuff reason for the mood to be dull & solemn? why does all the laughter & joy in claz seem so superficial? the only funnie person was ms low. she dint try too hard, she dint hv to try at all. natural.

anyway not going to sch tmr, gonna remove stitches. take care guyz! dun tink sch is any longer..fun..

"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."

back to school. quite a bad day. lessons were so dry and i could hardly tok. mouth started to hurt and i dint hv my painkillers with me. slowly, the pain crawled to my head. guess i was quiet-er than normal. dint hv the mood to tok anyway. luckily there wasn't much notes to copy. managed to clear quite a fair bit in sch. i tink the claz is "dying". there's no more life. everyone's bogged down with work and on top of tt, there are other concerns lyk relationships.

take for example the 2 extreme cases today:JeM-ecstatic(ok, maybe tts a little exaggerated) cos cx is back? SherLyn-depressed cos adrain left yest. could see sher was out of sorts today, totally not her normal self, moreover she's sick. wonder how long the hurt will take to heal? sheRLyN, chEeR uP ya? no pt brooding over it although u'll definitely miz him.

listened to jay's new album already, paNDa thaNkz fer burning the cd! won't say it's fantastic though there are some good songs. maybe i need the lyrics b4 i pass the verdict.

wing hang, i cannot help but agree with u tt the bowling exco is totally wrong! u noe wat i mean rite? i'm quite a useless vice-cap in the sense tt i'm redundant since authoritative ppl lyk to take everything into their hands. trying to look on the brite side, it's gd tt i get to slack and still get my pts. not too bad a deal aft all rite? juz totally pissed off with everything since the "handover". firstly, the sch's system is screwed up! secondly, ppl ard are mostly hypocrites. i admit i am towards the bowlers at times cos u can nv tell when they're sincere & real. is there power struggle in every cca? minature politics? cant imagine wat it'll be lyk in the working world. tink i would hv been better off in SA's team. gel better with the ppl there. onli gd thing abt VJ is the location and studies i guess. location was the strongest pull factor if not i would be in SA now, most probably leading a happier cca life. argh but too bad, there's nutin i can do abt it now. juz hafta bear with it. BitE oN~!

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."

so pH & stacey not together. haha clarified! hapie? and i dint spread abt panda & ss k. innocent! i not so free. and at least i noe tt i'm trustworthy. from all the blogs, seems like the bbq was quite fun, if onli more ppl (lyk me) turned up rite? went to the beach today. bladed & cylcled. finally started eating proper food - porridge. mouth very tired from chewing with the front teeth. going back to sch tmr. i'll juz live on milk again. argh tired. so many tutorials haven complete. lagging.

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."

i feel so helpless! kena suaned the whole day by frens & relatives. *sigh* dun wanna strain my mouth by fighting back. did flag day for Special Olympics. my mouth is tired out from asking for donations. came across a fouled mouth old stinky malay man today. sorry, dun mean to be racist but unfortunately he is malay, and sad to say, a disgraceful one indeed. approached a grp of uncles sitted at the hawker centre, drinking and chatting. all so willingly donated whereas only HE purposely passed tis remark, "dint noe singapore has become lyk indonesia, ppl hv to go ard asking for money." wat the fuck! it's bad enuff u dun wish to contribute so save ur idiotic comments for urself. it's discouraging to see how educated locals are behaving.

saw sherlyn's jonathan today. erm..totally not cute. haha typical VS look, the look i cant stand most. at least she still has him aft adrain leaves tmr. hope she'll be fine on monday. as for JeM, she should be looking forward to mon cos cx will be back. in a way it's gd news so dun hafta see her whiney-sad face. oopz! haha panda leh, wish him all the best in getting ss. seems like there's a ray of hope. jiA yOuz wor..! as for von-dear, by asking him directly, u'll either make it or break it, so it's really up to u. all the best too ya?! all the lovestruck clazmates i hv. can only wish them nutin but the best!

ran into harsharan(sec3&4 partner in claz) today. surprising how we even started dicussing abt guys. came to a conclusion: aNdy & viNcEnt (soccer guys!) are not bad. oh, and not forgetting panGhaO too. *yumz* haha =p many ppl hv been asking if pH & stacey(03a53) are together? i wanna noe too! they're seen together alot lately i guess.

as for me, i'm enjoying life now! care-less & free! no restrictions, no nutins. i play by my own rules. it's my game! maybe, if the right guy comes along, i'll consider but tts besides the pt. more imptly, enjoy while i still can now. yea!

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

for the sake of completeness, lemme post sth. i tink i'm such a nice sis. went to get my sis from sch today cos she injured her back. had to carry her sch bag which weighed a ton! it was a sling bag summore, so juz imagine my shoulder crumbling into pieces. on top of tt, i'm so weak now. been living on milk and beancurd, although i muz say it's quite nice since both are my favs. finally completed integration tutorial 3 with reference from sherlyn's tutorial. it's an achievement! yay! haha. met mavis at suntec to buy her first month gift for sam. got a 2-part keychain which read, i-luv-u & u-luv-me. so sweet..! saw the thread in my mouth. seems like its loosening. scary. wed gonna take it out. bear with it!