made my monthly trip to the mouth-terrorist today, as usual, the same old stuff, getting my mouth injured. tt's besides the pt, she's either been constantly cooped up in tt small cubicle of hers or ignorant to society, she tot i was still sec 3, and mind u, i was wearing sch U. help me! even then, dun i look old enuff? ahh used to her crap alredi. did past yr math paper at suntec macs with the JeM, wX, rL, pH, marcus & jerris (former chi clazmate). ate ice-cream, again. why dun i feel guilty? hahaz cos maybe i'm not jm or von. kapo fries from the guys as well. oh no! i've been eating fries the whole day, during sch break. eerkz! not fond of the oil idea. dun reali mind the creamy type though, like cakes & sundaes. gonna celebrate jm's bdae tmr, coincidentally, children's day as well. wondering where to go for makan. maybe i shuld suggest NYDC? since she's a fan too, juz tt i'm afraid there'll be objections from the others. well, juz see how it goes. not very sure if they're gonna watch infernal affairs 2, not even sure if i wan to watch it. maybe i'll juz do sth else during tt time ie. study? hahaz oopz! do i sound lyk a mugger? the one thing tt i detest becos i onli study, i dun chew & digest my books. anwyay i'll still gladly declare tt I'M NOT! oh he called again laz nite, kinda concern cos i sounded sick. talking to him online now, made a casual remark tt i was tired and he told me not to go to sch and tc and stuff. so sweet! we were toking abt crap as usual then i had the sudden urge to tell him i like him. haha restrain! cannot let my heart rule over my mind for now. looks like i won't get to hear his voice tonite. it's ok, i'll still live.

"It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship."

woah! juz completed superposition notes, took abt 2.5h, slow rite? nvm at least now i understand it a little better. today is value-for-money day. accompanied JeM to swensens parkway to look for marcus, he had a voucher for fish&chips at only $5.50 and choc fudge sundae for 55¢, wat a steal! we shared both items, very filling leh. did our work there while observing the intimacy b/w marcus & janelle - kisses. the staff were so nice, not only dint chase us out, even offered to refill our water. maybe it's another option u can consider for studying. i did integration from the mid-yr Qs so tt i could consult jm in times of queries. muz reali thank her for teaching me & helping me!

hmmz he called yest, to my surprise. could hv slept at 12mn but i couldn't bear not to tok to him, been so long, erm 5 days i tink. haha oopz! is tt considered long? so i slept at my norm timing - 1am. well, it was not all one hour of talk w/o work, i was going thru matrices & eigenvectors then, did not reali waste all my time. oh at one pt of time, he said, "wat if ur mum picks up the phone? she'll tink i'm ur boyfriend." hehz at tt moment i had the urge to say, "actually i don't mind." of cos, i exert excellent self-control, would not blurt out sth so blatant. also, dun wanna embarrass myself in case of negative response. hahaz i can be open but not to such an extent, or maybe i'm juz scared to ruin tis by far smooth friendship.

goodness! why am i even talking abt all tis now? beta go study liaoz. ciaoz! btw thurs & fri are given to us as study leave, does tt imply studying at the airport or anywhere else? moz prob be doing papers anyway. i'll juz wait and see.

"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over."

back to the airport again, tis time marcus - the stone - appeared. changed my impression of him liaoz, he's not too bad aft all. so ez to make me change my mind rite? well, managed to complete half of integration, gotta take it slow for tt chapter manz. by far, it's almost as bad as vectors, juz tt i can cramp in more vectors than integrals. *pengz* i'm kinda taking things slow alredi, maybe becos i finished both sciences, the load is lessened by a lot. from tmr onwards muz start to work on papers. yea.

shawn came down to pei me today, so sweet rite? initially i meant it as a joke, as usual, the same old me poking fun at ppl, and he took it seriously! haha so i jolly-well played along, till now haven disclose tis secret to him, dun intend to anyway, he'll juz take it out on himself. u muz be wondering why not on me? simply becos he can't do anything to me, he's too used to my nonsense but nv learns from his mistakes, still falling into my pathetic traps. oopz!

oh guess wat? we bumped into jm's guy again! i was laughing my head off! how small can singapore get? on second thots, he moz prob came to airport to see her. so much for coincidence huh. juz as yest, he couldn't leave her alone, the sms-es kept coming. the ultimate was 'tell marcus i'll keep him in prayers too.' wateva. spare me the agony.

How Do I Deal - Jennifer Love Hewitt

Every day I wake up to another day gone by
Nothing but the open road and the never-ending why
Anything can happen, yeah, but nothin ever does
I try to change, it's kinda strange, the same as it ever was, but look at us

How do I deal with you, How do I deal with me
When I don't even know myself, Or what it is you want from me
How do I deal with us, How do I know what's real
When I don't even trust myself, Or what it is I feel
And how do I deal

Every night, in the dark, I lie awake in bed
How am I supposed to dream, with all the static in my head
I turn in all directions and I pray for some relief
What can I do but feel the weight I'm underneath
And grit my teeth

How do I deal with you, How do I deal with me
When I don't even know myself, Or what it is you want from me
How do I deal with love
Why do I have to choose
And everybody's tellin me, What the hell I have to do
And how do I deal with us, How do I know what's real
When I don't even trust myself, Or what it is I feel
Now how do I deal

a brand new day~! i feel totally freshened up! been in high spirits the whole time, it's a gd sign isn't it? went airport to study with JeM and supposedly marcus, but he nv appeared. actually in the morning i was trying to decide b/w staying at home or going out to study, then came a solution! panda msged to ask if i wanted to join in the "study" at the airport in the evening till dawn break. obviously i dint and can't chap in. in the end he told me to look for jm since she was going airport. so ta-da! there i was! ooh guess wat? rescued her from her persisient, and lemme repeat, persisent suitor. he brot his study grp along., definitely not jm & my type of frenz. oopz! oh c'mon it's a fact, face it. they're wat u can call the guai-guai type, friendly, maybe over-friendly, thoz who harbour no ill intentions at all, unlike...

call it unlucky or wat, from t2 bk we changed to starbucks. aft we bot the drink we were told studying was not allowed, somewhat a company policy. wat the hell?!! moved back to bk, bot my all time fav - strawberry swirl cheesecake! *yumz* then again, we were not permitted to even hv any notes on the table, reason being instructions passed down from the airport quarters to stop the study-wave becos passengers complained they dint hv any space to eat. dotz. i dunno wat else to say. when we dint purchase anything, we could juz stay on. the moment we spend the first dollar, we're being chased ard. ended up at t2 viewing mall, nice place i muz say. the scenery is gd. all greens at a glance out the window. soothe the eyes.

oh u noe sth so "interesting" happened, tt suitor juz couldn't stop sms-ing jm. she showed me the msgs, total crap! 'muz remember to take lunch, study impt but health more impt' & 'we'll keep u in our prayers' (typical christian) oopz! am i starting on the christianity thing again? i beta stop! but i can't help it, i juz dislike their propoganda. i hv nutin against them personally, juz not in favour of the idea of conversion. tis is by no means a personal attack on anybody, (sorry if i happen to offend anyone) it's juz my pt of view. i'm sure i deserve tt right. enuff of digression, yes, he was msging her abt really trival stuff and may i say stupid too. can reali see how desperate he is. practically can't leave her alone. hey guy, get off her back! u're juz lucky jm is the easy-going type, she has a fantastic temper, however don't push ur limits. there's so how much a person can take. maybe u shuld juz f**k off and pursue other dreams instead of turning into a street with a dead end. i can only wonder how come u are still so oblivious to all the signals she's giving u - go away! woah, wat was tt? i dint hv to tink at all, it came naturally. seeing jm so stressed over tis, i gotta kinda pissed. i mean he's not related to her in anyway, give the poor girl a break for gdness sake! sorry to say but maybe he shuld check urself out, pick on someone his size, and i mean it literally. c'mon! get-a-life! there are things in life meant only for admiring, not for taking. consider urself lucky u even hv the chance of getting acquitted with it.

well, will be back at the airport tmr, with JeM again. maybe marcus will come. argh! i'll be facing a stone. hahaz. to make things worse, he has to be from vs. ok i'm not starting on schools now, if not, tis entry will nv end. not bad, i realise i can study with her. we noe our limits when to stop talking and concentrate. yay! i hope tis method works out fine. all the bez to me & myself, of cos not forgetting thoz ard me!

黑色柳丁
作詞：陶吉吉/娃娃 作曲：陶吉吉

今天我心情有一點怪怪 可是說不出到底為什麼
好像有一點悲哀的徵兆 可是病因不知道
頭上有橘色的加州陽光 我的口袋只有黑色的柳丁
我只有一個藍色的感覺 不要問我為什麼

很想說 但又感覺沒有話好說 我只恨我自己 逃不出這監獄
或許我 是個沒有出息的小蟲 不該一直作夢 你不是個英雄
葉子用墜落證明換季 可我昏昏沉沉沒有辦法醒
你願意做個英雄 還是你會要放棄
天是亮的卻佈滿烏雲 所有焦距被閃光判了死刑
你想做什麼英雄 我看你不過是傭兵
我只想哭 只想哭 只想哭 我只想哭 只想哭 只想哭

今天一起床我就頭痛 不管吃了幾瓶藥都沒有用
心情有一點莫名的焦躁 你離我越遠越好
外面有橘色的加州陽光 我卻躲在自己孤獨的黑洞
我只有一個小小的要求 就是請你leave me alone
很想說 但又感覺沒有話好說 我只恨我自己 逃不出這監獄
或許我 是個沒有出息的小蟲 不該一直作夢 你不是個英雄
葉子用墜落證明換季 可我昏昏沉沉沒有辦法醒
你願意做個英雄 還是你會要放棄
天是亮的卻佈滿烏雲 所有焦距被閃光判了死刑
你想做什麼英雄 我看你不過是傭兵
我只想哭 只想哭 只想哭 我只想哭 只想哭 只想哭

今天我心情有一點爛爛 可是說不出到底為什麼
好像有一點悲哀的徵兆 可是病因不知道
我只想哭 只想哭 只想哭 我只想哭 只想哭 只想哭

tell me wat's happening? how do i deal? the bottle neck is jammed pack! gotta give time to let things settle in.

let's start on today's journey. i was totally off focus during GP lesson today, first 2 periods of the day only, all due to lack of sleep. juz when i tot maybe a chem tutorial would do some good, it turned out to be a prac. as usual, expect the heating stuff and what-not. was one of the first few to start the experiment, but guess wat? it was a major disaster! the solid started boiling in the tube and it was only apparent to me tt sth was not rite when i saw white fumes evolving. i started coughing furiously, grasping for air, choking! it reali took a hell lot outta me. upon "evacuation", i was feeling chest tightness, seemed like my asthma was coming back. the lab tech then realised tt wat we were heating was actually solid acid, all thanks to them who did not remove the previous reagent used by the yr 2s i tink.

proceeded for phy lec, where 03s32 was obliged to attend becos the lecturer was mr lee keng hua, our CT. how great. anyway, all of us were doing everything else other than electric field, only the s31 ppl paid attention. it was interesting to see the variety of subjects being revised by the fac. a pure example of "crime in action" yet not caught. did tt make sense?

bascially i would say the day was fine, until the evening where i broke down outside the marine parade clinic while waiting for my mum. was sms-ing shawn initially, telling him of a sudden feeling tt overcame me - stress. the tension within juz kept growing to a pt where i was shivering. was terrified, it was not a gd omen, esp if it happens now, one week to the exam proper. somehow i tink i lost control of myself. so he called and questioned me if it was worth it? at tt pt in time, i juz felt my walls caving in on me, tears welled up im eyes and i sat helpless, tearing. quickly dried them as i dint wan my mum to see or noe, she's not having too gd a time herself. can't believe tis actually happened to me. maybe i've been giving myself too much pressure, been pushing myself too hard, overstretched the limit. however, with my ever-so-happy-go-lucky character, i've bounced back up on my feet already. remedy: i've been practically slacking the entire nite. haven done anything till now. gonna start only now. the workload tonite i would say, is really just a fraction of the norm. trying very hard to gain back my laughter & joy. wanna be the same, old jovial me. that's who i really am!

seriously speaking from tis experience, i realised it's not all about studies, excelling, successing. to be truly successful u first hv to preserve ur sanity. only then can u dig deep into ur gift/talent to realise the person u're meant to be. however, in Singapore's context, u gotta get pass the ridiculous clench of the education system b4 u can dream of anything else. tis is wat propels us to strive for the best and neva let any tiny opportunity slip by w/o a fight. well, tis applies for me, not sure if u feel the same way, guess it varies from individuals but it can't be tt far off rite?

to make things worse, it doesn't help to find out tt my bro schemed his way thru' abt revealing the truth of his lost wallet hours later when immediate action could hv been done to locate it. sometimes i reali wonder why he is so irresponsible? it seems the morals are deterioriating down the family line, tt is from me to my sis to my bro. my mum hit the roof becos he lost his wallet not too long back and she juz topped up $15 in his ez-link card yest. hope she takes it in her stride.

STRESS BUSTING TIPS

Believe in yourself. You wouldn't have been given a place on the course if you didn't have the ability to do it. Therefore, if you prepare for the exams properly you should do fine, meaning that there is no need to worry excessively.
Don't try to be perfect. It's great to succeed and reach for the stars. But keep things in balance. If you think that "anything less than 1st means I've failed" then you are creating mountains of unnecessary stress for yourself. Aim to do your best but recognise that none of us can be perfect all of the time.
Take steps to overcome problems. If you find you don't understand some of your course material, getting stressed out won't help. Instead, take action to address the problem directly by seeing your course tutor or getting help from your class mates.
Don't keep things bottled up. Confiding in someone you trust and who will be supportive is a great way of alleviating stress and worry.
Keep things in perspective. The exams might seem like the most crucial thing right now, but in the grander scheme of your whole life they are only a small part.

so maybe i did it right by talking to someone tonite. at least i feel a little more consoled.

it's been raining CatS & dOGs (cliqué!!) these few days, thoz dry kinds esp, only today the "real" wet type came and it hasn't stopped! in other words, i went home in the rain. was planning to ask my maid to fetch me from the bus stop but it lighten then so i strolled home (although the walk was a short one). hopefully my body resisitance is strong enuff to combat the "drenching". however, i've been sleeping late yet not taking naps in the afternoon, so most probably i'll fall sick very soon. plus the fact tt my clazmates are falling sick one aft the other, passing the virus ard. well, it's normal for me to fall sick during exam period, it's been happening all these years.

school is getting dull and monotonous with fewer and fewer going for lessons. i would say the constantly popualted place is the library, not even the LTs. as for me, i'm kinda enjoying lessons now cos i do my tutorials therefore able to follow the lesson. it's wat u'd call 'effective laz-min learning'.

been revising my math, as i go along, i realise tt it is neva ending, there is juz more and more and more. really gives me the jitters! also, i can't solve many problems. doomz time! waiting for the promo paper (getting tmr) so i can try to tackle the Qs. a serious case of lack in practice. the week is coming to an end tmr, which is so dam fast! gotta take advantage of the weekend to finish revision. oh, for GP promos, i don't tink i'm able to thumb the gender Q down. ms oon kinda warned me abt preparing a backup, looks like it ain't gonna be ez ya. then again, media is sure a hot choice and it's not exactly my ideal topic. well, i guess i juz gotta wait and see, rite now can only hope for the bez.

keith said interact club is going for the interview for the Nepal trip cos their overseas trip is cancelled. dam! screw interact! dun fite with us for places, moreover the list is up already. wat the hell. interact sux! oopz~!

his prelims end today. lucky him! arghz dun like the timing, when he's pia-ing, i'm free & relaxed, now it's vice-versa. tt's not it, when promos end, he'll be slogging for 'O's. isn't it like some catching game? u chase aft my tail and i chase aft urs? *sigh* everything sux! guess i'll not be talking to him for these few weeks, really can't spare the time. sure to drift, and it's not tt we're dam gd frens now, so can u imagine wat will happen? back to starting pt. haiz. even thoz in the same sch, same age like wx & ss are starting to drift, wat's in store for me siaz? nvm i dun reali wanna noe at tis pt of time, not of much imptance.

JC life is really sucking the nuts outta me! gonna be reduced to nutin soon. maybe tt's y i get hungry at midnite everynite. oopz! outta pt. arghz who cares?!

"Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're strangers."

How Did I Fall In Love With You
(Howie Dorough/Calum MacColl/Andrew Fromm)

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends, like sister and brother
We understand, we’d never be alone

Those days are gone, now I want you so much
The night is long, and I need your touch
Don’t know what to say, never meant to feel this way
Don’t wanna be alone tonight

Chorus:
What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

I hear your voice, and I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble
I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don’t wanna be alone tonight

I wanna say this right, and it has to be tonight
Just need you to know
I don’t wanna live this lie, I don’t wanna say goodbye
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
Everything’s changed, we never knew
How did I fall in love with you

hmmz seeing my frens paste chinese song lyrics, i decided to paste tis song. realli like the entire song, of cos more imptly the meaning. take ur time to appreciate it.

went gelaré for waffle savouring (1/2 price!), that's more the like the actual reason we went there - 7 of us - pH, wX, rL, keith, JeM, von & myself! had cookies & cream ice-cream. hehe. quite shiok, was very filling too.

today is good news one aft the other! i got into the Nepal trip! yay~! paying the $100 deposit tmr.
i PASSed my chem! initially chanks said i failed, but guess wat? he dint give me any marks for the free radical mechanism although he put a few ticks there. when i first got it back, 15.5, kinda disappointed, expected to fail reasonably well, as in close to a passing grade. flipped the pages, BooM! that particular section seemed to crying out to me to hv justice done - claim my rightful marks! rushed down to see chanks in the LT, and he "ever-so-nicely" gave me 4.5! in my heart, i was hoping he'd gimme tt so i can at least pass. well, sometimes silent wish works. i feel more consoled now to noe tt i passed cos i did study, not all tt hard but some effort put in. it's a gd experience cos i need to noe the method to tackle different Qs.

"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, one of them may fall for the other, be it temporarily, at the wrong time, or even too late or maybe, just maybe, forever."

HAHAHA juz read JeM's blog, HAHAHA since when the eng i use is powerful? in fact i tink my vocab is very limited. maybe it's the way i phrase my sentences such tt the meaning is embedded. looking for a really strong command of english? u shuld check out my fren's blog - writer's style. not kiddin'. my sec 4 clazmates would noe, her compo was always ranging above 30 upon 40. tt is wat i call Zai~!

aft a long chat laz nite, a feeling of helplessness and confusion overwhelmed me. at the spur of the moment, i felt like all hope was gone. seriously can't seem to fathom the rationale, i was tinking could it be due to exam stress, or hv i lost the feeling already? I DUNNO! can someone enlighten me? maybe i shuld focus on buliding the frenship, forget abt anything else at tis moment, and definitely the time is not ripe. who knows when it will ripen rite? guess i hafta leave things as it is.

it really puzzled me why i even feel tis way but tt is not a top concern. wat worries/scares me more is tt the days to the promos are drawing near yet tutorials are still not covered. on a lighter note, i'm receiving an individual east zone colour award on the 4-10-03 which is 2 days b4 the first paper - GP. contemplating on bringing notes to study, of cos not during the ceremony. heyz i noe my etiquette, shi ke er zhi. not bad rite? i noe how to put cheng yu into appropriate use, unfortunately i'm not gd with my hanyupinyin so forgive my ignorance on the fa yin part. congratulate or wateva, rightfully i'm not supposed to receive tis award, i tink. no doubt was in the combined schools' team, however did not make it for asian schools. well, i'm not too sure how the system works so maybe i shuld reserve my comments rite?

now, to wrap things up, to all my frens troubled by love and what-not, may i suggest u cast aside all these "meaningless" worries for the time being and instead channel tis energy to revising for the examz. sometimes u hv gotta let ur brain lead the way, not allowing ur heart the privilege 24-7. so long as u balance ur life, everything is bound to turn out right somehow. jia youZ & take careZ~!

"Love is like a roller coaster, it has twists and turns, ups and downs, and you never know when the ride is going to end."

i realised, it's impossible.

Goddess of the Moon. Beauty, yet a sadness lurks
about you at times. But hey, pain is beauty,
right?

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

pheW~! juz completed RJ's 2002 promo GP paper. my honest opinion: it's not all tt difficult, definitely easier than CJ's. sometimes the best schools need not necessarily have the hardest papers rite? however, here comes the sad news (or would u even call it news since it's been happening), i have total absolute BAD time management! took an additional of 15min to finish up the application Q, and it was not thorough yet. really gotta work on tt aspect now. maybe i could learn speed writing?!

speaking of time management, had a terrible experience yest. I'M SORRY for my BEHAVIOUR during the physics promo prac, i truly am. been dwelling more on the upheaval i caused rather than the thot tt i did not finish the paper. my conscience was hitting on me, the whole of yest, flashbacks were playing in my mind. seriously remorseful and trust me, i've never felt tis guilty abt "cheating" before. well, i guess i hv to move on, tis shall remain a part of my memory.

Act Like A Fool
By Estell-Art

I'm sorry for the things I said
but anger got the best of me
And when you said the things you did
red was all I could see

I hate it when the devil takes control
and makes me act like a fool
'cause that's when I get hard headed
and stubborn like a barnyard mule

How did things esculate up to the point
to almost become a war
'cause many of the things I remember
weren't even worth fighting for

So how do we resolve this quarrel
can it be done with an apology
or must I swallow my pride once more
and get down upon my knee

I hope you accept this apology
I didn't mean the things I said
So please let us try to forget the past
and once again start looking ahead

in a wink of the eye, the week flew by w/o me realising. how i wish time could stand still, right at tis moment and wait till i'm 3/4 way thru my revision b4 the clock starts to tick again. there's seriously a major shortage of time now. yes yes i noe it's my fault, why dint i start earlier rite? blame no one for ur procrastination. let's not look back, why not look forward? maybe sth "encouraging" could be physics promo prac is tmr?! till tis moment, i've not started any revision for it? worry not, i'm working on it rite aft tis. it's gonna be a hell-race against time when my engine is geared up, however, it does help knowing tt u only need an A level pass to get promoted. the pt is: i not only want to get promoted, i want to do relatively well too. i'm not setting impossible targets for myself, all i ask is to get a C and above for all 4 subjects. of cos, never forgetting GP, hopefully to see an improvement from mid-yr grade. well, at least my emphasis is a lot on GP. it has transformed to my top priority over the past few months. all tis is not juz empty talk, not somewhere i can find consolation, self-consolation that is. i will make sure i stand up to my words. aft all, it's a commitment to myself, nutin for others to worry.

for a change, here are some examinations tips:

Condense. Fitting notes onto one side of paper makes them easier to stomach, so rewrite and cut down as you go.
Highlight. Target key areas using colours and symbols. Visuals help you remember the facts.
Record. Try putting important points, quotes and formulae on tape. If you hear them and read them, they're more likely to sink in.
Talk. Read your notes out loud, it's one way of getting them to register.
Test. See what you can remember without notes, but avoid testing yourself on subjects you know already.
Time. Do past exam papers against the clock, it's an excellent way of getting up to speed.

i like a nerd?! he studies like crazee, only glad if his efforts pay off. it's surprising how he is able to still spend abt half an hour or so talking to me. if it were me, i'd probably shut myself from any telecommunication equipment. i'm juz satisfied being there to listen or rather help him de-stress. suan me, do wateva u wan, it's ok, i'll take it, i'm used to it, but i do it back unto u.

movie "marathon" yet again: mon - italian job. tues - pirates of the carribean. the shows get better as the days pass, pirates was absolutely awesome. woaH~! it's been a long while since i last caught such an old setting, if u know noe wad i mean. the company was not too bad, all clazmates. sets me thinking, will next thurs really come true? i guess tis is not of significant importance at tis pt of time, gotta concentrate on my studies first.

as the clock ticks, u feel the seconds slip by, now even the minutes seem alot. as the days go by, chapters are covered, tutorials are piling, revision never seems to start. starting.. i feel the beginning of the end..

"Love is an attempt to change a piece of dream into reality."

sch hols are over! shuld i use the word 'finally'? nah. tmr's back to hard work and slogging till promos are over. had a terrific time at my bro's bdae BBQ yest, stayed overnite at the beach, rather noisy though. dint keep awake cos i was already very sleepy from drinking beer and had tuition tis morning. anyway it's not healthy for me to be keeping late nites all the time. was awaken by tbe army's loudspeaker; army half-marathon held today. scary really, the speed they ran at. 21km is No JoKe!

seemed like the day got beta as the hours passed. heard someone call my name outside church tis morning, guess who? ken C.! actually expected to see him in church cos tis was his regular mass but not really bumping into him. wat has army done to him? he's one case i've witnessed tt went wrong, way off track. it's a real pity for a gentleman like him to undergo such transformations. went for the adidas sale, dint get anything, nutin appealing. sat at Congress kopitiam drinking and talking for hours siaz. saw owen & mabel kissing at Conrad's bus stop. wat a great change in her who used to be mummy's good baby girl.

things took a turn for the worse back home. ate porridge for dinner and there wasn't enuff food. while i was having my shower, my bro, sis & mum were arguing. by the time i was done, both my bro & mum were in tears. beats me wat exactly happened becos my nose-up-in-the-air sis is kinda bias towards my bro so definitely would not fill me in. in the end it was juz a big fuss my bro kicked over a minute joke. dunno wat's he coming to? well, peace and quiet at last. however, to end the day gracefully, he - ken teo - called. it's been a long time. maybe not tt long, juz tt i missed his voice, his crappiness, his eloquence, basically everything abt him. was supposed to help him with geog. elec. hope i gave him some encouragement and glimmer of light to tackling the questions. seriously, he's the first person i've talked to who keeps thanking me for everything. maybe it's normal but still a SweEtiE to me! supposed to meet him next thurs to pass him math notes, kinda worrried but i guess i'll start worrying only when the time comes. from now till then, i can only continue missing him while praying hard tt he does well for his prelims. aLL the BeSt~!

"Remember that every good friend was once a stranger."

haiz.. tink i posted a lot today rite? not exactly in high spirits. the wrong ppl are msging me online! why izzit not him?! becos he has prelims? dunnoe la. not feeling rite can alredi. dint even go for my sec 4 claz gathering to shang yue. went for a hair cut instead. hopefully tt will help to cut away some bad luck. superstitious? maybe.. well, at least i've myself a date to watch Pirates of the Carribean - ian chong. quite sianz la but i guess now juz make do lor. oopz! do i sound mean? can't u see how evil i am? a2 grade leh. A for 'A' levels. however, everything is tentative, u nv noe wat's gonna crop up. i'm juz thankful tt i cherished thoz 3 calls. on the brite side, at least tts beta than nutin rite?

"The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care."

On a scale of 1 to 10 you are a 7. You are
obviously evil and there are not very many that
are in your league. You belong behind bars to
keep the general population safe from you.
Unfortunitly as crafty as you are this will
probably not happen until many lives have been
destroyed.

How Evil Are You?
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YOU ARE MARRIED TO A WoODCHUCK!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?
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arghh i overslept! supposed to be having chi tuition now. set my alarm at 0815 but i woke up at 0930! (the time it starts) muz be a sleep hangover from wed nite. we had a whole lot of fun! tis was one of the most successful s32 outing! 15 out of 25 came. went blading and cycling at ecp in the afternoon then met a few more at parkway for dinner. went to pastamania, had my all-time-fav Carbonara. shiok~! was rather creamy though, kept on burping aft tt. also, finally tried the banana pizza desert. yummy~! we then proceeded to the "lighthouse" named Amber Beacon. the guys played soccer while the girls sat on the fine sand to chat. presented weexin with her bdae cake and had mooncakes! tung lok mooncakes. branded sia. again, it was yumz~! played "truth or dare", poor JeM had to hug luBin. haha i tot it was quite ok but they seemed awkward. maybe it's different, maybe i'm different. hugged too many guys ard. hehe oopz! slowly the crowd dispersed leaving rL, panda, von, sherlyn, JeM & myself, all stayed over at my hse.

as usual, wat can u do when u stay over? play MJ! lost very badly the first round. panda kept on 'zhi-mo-hu'. no fun! hahaz. we started ard 1am. took a break aft first round, went to the nearby 24h shop to eat prata. teh tarik there was nice too! started our second round at 4am, JeM & sherlyn were still taking turns to play, only towards the end sherlyn went solo. haha JeM was long gone on the bed, so was von. these 2 were happily in dreamland while the 4 of us were going mad due to sherlyn's craziness! guess everyone was too tired. by the time we ended was 7plus already! scary how i could still be so lively then. wasn't exactly tired ya. anyway all left at ard 0830 when i watched Charmed. soon, i fell asleep. slept less than 2h. in the afternoon slept for another 2h. can still make it la. not bad! dint noe my stamina so good! hehe. *gRinZ*

found out sth new as well: von can juz stone in front of the comp. haha she was chatting late in the nite, juz sat there and waited for ppl to reply. she would juz jump at any chance to take a nap. tink once she juz slept on the table, tried calling her but no response. hahaz now we noe why she's always so tired! interesting.

goSh! it's friday alredi! hols ending liaoz. admit i wasted a big part of it but definitely dint slack as much as during june hols. maybe i learnt my lesson. major loss of sleep during hols manz. tink i rather be back at sch. haha it's like i hv nutin to do everyday. moreover, not exactly toking to him anymore, which makes my life even more dull! guessed correctly, it's infatuation! wat's new rite?! haha. oh no! i beta not go into tis subject, i'll start crapping again.

"Love is like QuickSand; the more you are in it, the deeper you sink; and when it hits you, you've just got to fall."

-Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to
stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much
Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally
charged. You definitely love the person you're
with, and always want to know how they're
feeling so you can make sure they're happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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The ULTIMATE personality test
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time check: 0145h. finally finished integration reduction formulae tutorial. tt was overdue for 2 months i tink. pHew! it's a sense of achievement although it's nutin to be proud of. claz outing tmr, gonna blade/cycle. hope everything goes fine. cycled to sch today for pw. tink it's kinda cool. was rather breezy in the morning. actually it started to drizzle when i left my hse, but i still went ahead. dunno why my right arm cramped up. maybe i dint balance my weight properly. hmmz in the afternoon went to gelaré at ecp to study, but to my horror, i realised most of the tutorials are tys questions and i bring any! so i more or less wasted my time and slacked there. ate waffle! half price neh. hehe. yet again, another day goes to waste. goes the same for tmr as well.

came across tis nice quote, rather meaningful to me i felt. maybe it's juz me but i can bring myself way up over the slightest reasons, gotta learn to curb it, then next i noe, it's all a "fallacy". juz lyk they say 'Love is a fallacy'. my world crashes thousands of feet below everything else. suddenly realise how crazee and infatuated i've been, shuld hv known better, anyway it's not the first. why still allow myself to fall? now i've gotta learn how to put on an iron mask, iron armour, so that nutin is able to penetrate thru. tis way, i'm safe, won't get hurt tt easily. then again, is tis wat i reali wan? i dun tink so. i would still choose to venture out, check out the greenery and ocean blue. tis is wat makes me who i am today. oh no! i tink wateva i said dint reali make much sense. nvm my mind is exhausted.

"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love."

hey guys, check out my new poem. haha guess i'm rather bored. wrote it in a jiffy, so forgive my pun.

The first I saw you
I knew it was real
Had a unique feel
Happened so few

Your pride, your arrogance
Formed the aura of attraction
Never knew what was infatuation
Still tried to feign ignorance

Chills ran down my spine
Butterflies raced in my stomach
Would you call this luck?
Maybe someday you’ll be mine.

You were only a dream
A part of my fantasies
Could be a delicacy
That feels me to the brim

I glanced from afar
Wishing I could get near
Sometimes I fear
Leaving the door ajar

Maybe it was fate
Destiny so unpredictable
Makes minds feeble
Finally we became mates

Satisfied I was
Dare not ask for more
Was it against my law?
Usually I would force

Forget you I could
The ocean wide and deep
Will not allow myself to slip
Look for others I would

Then you called
Lifted my spirits high
I felt I could fly
I was still appalled

Now I’m lost and confused
I try not to decipher your game
With due respect to your fame
Do I feel anything for you?

Deep inside I yearn to know
My mind, questions flood
My heart, rushes blood
Will you turn into my foe?

Does your name begin with: L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated.

Does your name begin with: V
You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.

DECEMBER
Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Sagittarius
Turn ons: Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with their zest and enthusiasm in life. They can bubble with excitement that can be tangible at times. And if you share same interests and hobbies then life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone goes to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.

Turn offs: Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction hence do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on talking about certain things that may not even interest you but it is their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude) so do not feel offended by their talks.

1. WHAT SHADE OF HAIR DO YOU HAVE? a) dark: sexy

2. IF YOU WERE OUT ON A DATE WOULD YOU WANT TO: b) go out to eat: romantic

3. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR OUT OF: a) pink: cute

4. PICK YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIE OUT OF: b) skating: determined

5. IF YOU COULD PICK A STORE BETWEEN THESE WHICH WOULD YOU PICK?: c) victoria's secret: sexy

6. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE STATE OUT OF: b) Florida: party time in the Heat

7. IN THE SUMMER WOULD YOU RATHER GO TO: a) beach: tan likes the sun

8. WHATS YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH? l) December: warm

9. WOULD YOU RATHER: b) Go out with friends: crazy

10. NAME A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. -kenneth- That person will fall in love with you!!!!!

haha is tis convincing enuff?

round 3 cleared yest. he's kinda skeptical abt my mum finding out his identity. not sure if it's cos he broke off with his ex-gf due to her mum's intervention (to wat i know). btw she was 2 yrs older than him. he's kinda like the type who goes out with older girls? haha jeremy nonis? goSh! juz realised they're from the same sch - SJI. izzit a sch culture? or izzit pure coincidence tt i know 2 of the same kind? or maybe it's a vj girls' thing abt seeing younger guys. at least there are more examples in sch to prove it. oh no! i'm making it sound like some hypothesis i'm trying to prove. nvm. forget i said anything. oh oh oh guess wat? ah u probably won't be able to guess anyway, juz like he & i nv expected. we're both Catholics! haha ok i noe it totally doesn't concern anyone of u, but i'm still so excited over it. i mean, it's rare to find friends ard who are Catholics, let alone bowlers. maybe it's a sign or sth. i dunno. now i'm tinking if i were to ask him to the Youth Explosion at Novena tmr would he come? if he does, wat will happen? haha. am i tinking too far? probably. we'll see abt it tonite. oh no! i'm violating all the GP essay rules. i'm really enjoying GP lessons or at least the skills and techniques tt we can learn and put to use. best thing is, his linguistic ability is like.. wOah! it's really amazing. and he intends to take law, now how's that? although he's an inbred historian, juz some history freak. the whole textbk is at his fingertips. maybe we're too alike, we'll repel sooner or later. it's ok, let fate play its part on tis, i can only wait and see rite? for now, juz enjoy his company over the phone. argh hate the feeling of getting my hopes up and the next moment, when u turn ard, u see everything crashing beneath ur feet.

"Love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live?"

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? : Saying something and wishing you hadn't? or Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart; If you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own, when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid, afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

*What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)

*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?

*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?

People live, but people die. I want to tell you that you are a friend.

If you died tomorrow (God Forbid) you would be in my heart. Would I be in yours?

You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,

I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I CARE about all my friends.

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.

Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just take comfort in knowing
somebody out there cares about you, and always will!

I care about U !!

wat i'm feeling rite now? oN cLouD NinE~! been in high spirits since last nite. totally elated! why? cos i talked to ken teo on the phone. woah! it was juz amazing. note: do not ask questions then ans them. it will drag ur marks down for GP essay. oopz! no link, skew link, wateva. maybe now u noe how high i am? best part of it all was he msged tis afternoon to thank me for the conversation, said he enjoyed it. wow! u hv no idea how i felt sia. haha. well, suppose to hv round 2 tonite at 11pm. ah, yes, panda made me happier by mentioning that guys dun tok to girls for no reason. hmmmz do u geddit? anyway i'm not gonna spell out the meaning behind that statement. try to infer! actually it's quite obvious. now, the question is, "is tis yet another infatuation? or am i juz re-living it?" gotta figure out my thots.

another happy factor: my mum is totally supportive of me going to Nepal for CIP. one step on the road to success. now juz gotta pray i get thru' the interview smoothly. wanna go for tis mainly cos of the CIP hours and hopefully pearls pts, but seriously i tink the experience would really be beneficial (politically correct ans but i mean it from the bottom of my heart) and partly cos i noe i won't be going for any trip at the end of the yr. one stone 3 birds? hehe. satisifed with the term break, at least with the way it ended.

"A new friendship is like an unripened fruit - it may become either an orange or a lemon."

did CIP with sherlyn - transcripting the remaining of the interview. clocked 9 hours in total. still short of alot. anyway we were more like slacking and studying cos we finished quite early. ya so, we took turns to finish up wat was left while the other was composing poems, love poems to be specific. here goes..

LOVE SUX!

What has love done to all my friends?
What does love want of us?
Why does love tear us apart?
Love does what it does.

No why, no how,
No nothing at all.
You don't fool around with love,
You don't try your luck.

Love is a bittersweet symphony,
Someday you will know.
Don't pity another,
Ignorance can be bliss.

The laughters and tears,
The hugs and quarrels.
Contradicting it might be,
Welcome to the game of love.

Just be yourself,
It'll bring you thus far.
Have a go at this,
You'll realise Love sucks!

wazzup with my claz and MAYBEs?! can't they ever confirm sth or better still say a "YES"?! izzit reali so hard? nvm i'm used to it. juz dread organising anything for the pathetic claz, yes, lemme repeat PATHETIC claz. sux! as usual dint even get to play pool today. expected anyway. in tis claz, pls dun expect anymore successful outings. the current excuse will be 'promos coming' yea, so maybe u would tink tt aft promos can haf a hell of a time rite? pls dun get ur hopes up high. cos the next excuse will be 'As coming'. ok i'm juz rather pissed off. venting frustrations. ahhh! chem lecture assessment on thurs. haven started studying, intending to start rite aft tis. but.. i'm addicted to tao ze's album 'UltrasoUnd'. oh ppl ard me are like infected with 'pu tong peng you'. it's a song tt i will nv grow sick & tired of hearing. the lyrics speak for itself. check it out.

"Dream on, do in pursuit of your dream. The dunes are changed by the wind but the desert never changes. That's the way love is. If I am part of your dream, you'll come back one day."