laz few hours b4 i depart local grounds to Kathmandu, Nepal.

first and foremost, i wanna say a big THANK U to all my relatives & frenz, all who hv supported me for tis trip in one way or another. love ya all loads~!

tis is specially to mingz. thanx for the cute strawberry clip dear! love ya! so sweet of u. i'll keep it with me.

i'm feeling so touched by everyone. now i noe there are so many who care out there.

mizzing tis place alredi. mizzing ppl too. hehz.

to HIM, thanx once again. thx for calling although ur mouth is not fully recovered. reali appreciate tt.

to all, DON'T miz me k? hahaz. i'm using reverse psychology here. see? now u're bound to tink abt not missing me and sure to miz me then.

take carez! cya in 10 days' time.

"I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever."

got up at 10am today. see? wat an improvement. hahaz. lame!

having so much trouble with my stomach. woke up lyk 3 times thruout the nite cos the pain was unbearable. could be cos i dint hv proper meals or cos it's the time of the month.

oh yah, my period came yest. so dam happy. at least i noe my trip will be rather clean since mine lasts for 3-4 days onli.

went shopping with the family plus my aunt. where? back to suntec. same shop. lucky bot another top from iora. casual smart look. can't wait for my mum to wear it so tt i can use it too. jian rite? oh well, buy to share wat.

met mavis! thanx dear for wanting to come out and spend time with me b4 i leave. JUZ IN CASE.

walked from taka to wisma. checked out the toy fair at taka square. finally bot my long awaited Mango top. tis will be for x'mas.

from wisma past taka to heeren. shopped ard annex. abstained from neo-prints today. no mood.

then paragon to lucky plaza. went to try the weird looking baleno skirt. tried the thick stripes halter too. mav said the halter was nice. no doubt but it's too common alredi.

all the way down to far east. finally decided tt we culdn't go on. breaked at scotts picnic for dinner. shared the fish&chips and ban mian. fish&chips worth it leh. $5.50 for a big serving.

felt so bloated. it's juz the once-a-month syndrome. decided to go plaza sing. she needed to get spray paint from spotlight. so we walked all the way there. wow! gd exercise huh.

guess wat? out of no rhyme or reason i bot a peak designs bag from carrefour. so cheap. $8.90. purple color. looks quite nice. may bring it for the trip.

basically spent more than $50 today. there goes all the gd luck money from the elders.

yes yes then we had choc banana & oreo cheese cakes at Secret Recipe. thanx once again for the treat though i paid $3. hahaz.

arhgz! the position seated was facing the spot where i saw amy han (his 2-yr older ex) and him walking in to ps when the bridge was still ard.

being with mavis is nutin but fun & laffter. no time to tink abt anything. how nice! thx thx thx. love ya loads~!

talked to him online. preserving a friendly status. suddenly i asked if he was gonna miz me when i'm gone. no ans. duh! aft going rounds, conclusion was to ask tt Q when i get back.

sweet boy said he'll call tmr. i'm juz worried cos his mouth is still hurting. he said nvm.

tmr's the day for PAE. wonder wat is his first choice. he's not decided yet. doesn't matter rite?

2nd laz blog b4 a 10-day break away. kinda anticipating, on the other hand, kinda missing home. more the ppl la. hahaz. can't imagine facing jerks lyk glenn, alphis, bingliang, johnie daily. *puke* save me! hehz.

'Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.'

woke at 12 noon. muz be the 4h of sleep the previous nite plus alcohol (makes me sleepy).

eventful day.

1. surveyed the houses at west coast with my mum. yay! saw my fav SunGrove. opposite the jap sec sch.

2. pasir panjang market. bot vegetables.

3. went suntec/citylink. so glad she was willing to shop. Theme having 50-70%. bot a top. she bot top, pants, dress.

4. church.

5. dinner at ah kong house.

6. exchange of "blows" b/w zara & CE, though Z's language was rude! more or less trashed matters out but i tink there's not much diff.

7. back home, as eager as possible to add to my friendster collection. found olivia. my very gd pri sch fren. stayed near me too. used to go to her house - teacup balcony.

surprise surprise! saw him online juz now lyk since ages ago. or maybe cos i've been going on very late. hahaz come back late mahz. he msged la. i wasn't planning to tok to him.

no feeling leh. hehz reali faded liaoz. good or bad? DUNNO! asked abt my nick, wat i'm guilty abt. wanted to say but held back. wat i wanted for bdae? "U!" held it back too. no guts! lousy rite?

he then realised he'll not be ard for my bdae. asked if i can receive international sms. guess so. awww so sweet! not even tinking skin-deep. don't worry! doubt he'll do it but it's the "thot" tt counts. he got the date wrong la. how to rely on his words?

take carez jm & wx! hv a safe, enjoyable & fruitful trip! gonna miz my shopping partner and pool players.

"There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking."

first things first, i totally screwed my keyboard. spilled water on it then it konked out. hahaz. took my mum's to use for the time being. in other words, she ain't got no keyboard so she can't play her game. OOPZ! sorie mum!

to kick start the day, i had OCIP meeting early in the morning in sch. slept 4h onli yet not feeling tired. couldn't get to sleep laz nite. was in rather high spirits. reason: no idea at all. guessed i reali did straighten out my thots.

so we did the 3 mass dances: whiney, neutron, i want u. some more than 2 times each. sorta finalised everything. was pissed off with jonathan ley. he simply can't lead. wanna sack him as the boys' vice-cap. useless!

had training. i'm getting from bad to worse. can't seem to find the fault.

aft tt, went for a sumptous dinner with my aunt & uncle, my couz and mum. ate at a thai restaurant called 'thanying' at amara hotel. not cheap at all. hahaz. opted for tt rather than buffet. in the end, still felt as bloated.

now here comes the exciting part. went down Mad Monks with my couz. fyi, it's an all crooked pub. less than 5 guys! and poor me, was on the lookout for any guy tt walked pass. slowly got accustomed to the atmosphere. couples were lurking in every corner. oh yes, it is also a baby pub. all the girls are so young! bet most are onli in sec sch.

legal age in is 16 with a chop tt reads 'no alcohol'. ooh guess wat? i got the one tt said 'proof'. yea baby! cos my couz's fren, also my fren's gf sorta brought me in. we ordered a jug of bourbon coke. $35. f**king ex dun ya tink? my couz picked up the tab. hehz.

had a shot of vodka 7-up. no kick! was more lyk drinking syrup. hahaz. was introduced to the older age grp of bunks. no comments. as for my age grp? ermz none of them left an impression but believe it or not, i was actually toying with the idea of getting together with one of them.

was it out of spite? maybe. or maybe girls wuld very much understand other girls beta. i dunno. maybe the misery caused has made me so immune tt i rather try sth new? tink i beta not go down Mad Monks too often, i'm bound to turn crook. hahaz. nutin surprising la.

one thing i hv to bitch abt is, i can't stand all thoz girls who can't hold their alcohol well but still drink till they get drunk or puke. then they'll create a scene outside. drama-mama sia. irritating!

so here i am, back in the comforts of my home. can't believe my so-called first "pubbing" experience was lost to such a place. hahaz. u see? pubbing has to be in inverted commas cos u can't consider it a pub. and there's no way i can call it a club.

a day well spent. with a fantastic mood to accompany. bez day of the week! seriously feel so free now. the feeling's fading. i'm allowing it to. i muz admit i was looking forward to a simple msg from him. got it but replied dam late cos of training. still hoping maybe he'd reply but nah, kosong. so i guess tt's the beginning of the end.

"The loneliest woman in the world is a woman without a close woman friend."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM XIAO HUI!

as i celebrate the birthdays of thoz turning 17, i'm looking forward to my own. hahaz. *hint* once i get back from nepal, it'll be lyk there waiting for me. omg! dunno wat i'm saying oso.

after a whole nite of suaning, finally went to read liz's testi by kenneth. awww so sweet! it's a mutual thing. so darn mushy! my stomach feels queasy now. hahahaz.

then jan said during sec sch days she liked a softballer called kenneth too. tink xh also had sth to do with a kenneth b4. i juz diam-diam there. me leh? 2 kenneths leh. hahaz. wat say do i hv manz? hahaz. one old, one young. beta shut up if not kena suan, esp with ms str8-forward ard aka jan.

nite out with the tk girls. usual fun & loud outing. hehz. xh was one hour late, wat's new? ate at scotts picnic, realised the food there is nice though the prices are the up-market food court kind. nevertheless, still cheaper than restaurants. tis is to accomodate to budget spenders. it's a good thing though, so can save $ too.

crys, jan, liz baked a marble cake with choc coating for xh. decorated it with icing which read, "xiao hui, eat me!" wahahaz. was laffing my head off. how innovative! anyway it was nice.

guess who we had to see? was sitting at wheelock place coffee bean, the indoor one outside borders. suddenly when i looked up, i thot i saw alphis. true enuff, it was S21 outing. say hi lorz.

anyway today's been great! managed to get my mind off things. decided tt i shuld accept things the way are. as mav puts it, dun question juz accept. BUT, not questioning is so not me, so i concluded tt i question, however there are no answers, therefore i hv to accept.

no sms-es from both today. feel kinda relieved though i was hoping HE wuld msg. as for shawn leh, maybe it's gd things are tis way, drift further beta. hahaz then i won't feel so bad. don't wanna feel lyk as if i'm making use of him. i'm always complaining or whining to him.

yea! so i can proclaim f r e e d o m now. hoping tis nepal trip wuld do me some gd. if i hv to drift from ppl, so be it. 10 days, many things can change.

maybe i'm still happy-go-lucky after all. =P

"Him that I love, I wish to be free. Even from me."

i'm G-U-I-L-T-Y.

relate it to the song. tis is the alternative to confessing my feelings.

lost in the vast ocean. which reminds me that the theme for orientation next yr is oceans. and believe it or not, i wrote tt in my application form.

can somebody shake me awake? tell me tt i hv A levels next yr. i shuld not be bothering abt all tis.

see? why i noe all tis but i can't seem to get out of it.

tis is all so routine. i'll get so excited abt smsing, talking, meeting him. then i'll get so depressed. it's lyk i get myself so sad over nutin. and i noe it! but i can't help it.

first Q: "3 words to describe urself."

'HAPPY-GO-LUCKY'

sounds hypocritical? who am i to speak of being cheerful or bubbly? tink i lost most of it.

i beta brace myself. muz be ME when i meet the rest tmr.

"Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise."

Guilty - Blue

I never want to play the games that people play
I never want to hear the things they gotta say
I've found everything I need
I never wanted anymore than I can see
I only want you to believe

If it's wrong to tell the truth
What am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime
Then I'm guilty

I wanna give you all the things you never had
Don't try to tell me how he she treats you isn't bad
I need you back in my life
I never wanted just to be the other guy girl
I never wanted to live a lie

Girl Boy I followed my heart
Followed the truth
Right from the start it led me to you
Please don't leave me this way
I'm guilty now all I have to say

What am I supposed to do
Then I'm guilty
All I wanna do is speak my mind
Then I'm guilty
I'm prepared to testify
If it's wrong to do what's right then tell me about this feeling inside
If loving you with all my hearts a crime
I'm Guilty

my oh my. how i love to blog during the hols. actuali tt's not true. it's more lyk i hv nutin to do tt's y i'm blogging.

lemme tell u abt my eventful morning. chatted with mav on the fone till abt 0315h. finally kaopeh finish so could sleep w/o tinking too much.

woke up at 0845h. ahhhh! supposed to report for OGL interview at 0845h. WTF! nah mind. dint bother even washing up. threw on my uni, grabbed a scrungee and a pair of socks and outta the house i went.

reached there to realise tt the interview was starting at 9am? darn. wasted my $4.30 cab fare. had to pay for surcharge summore. arghz. keep going back to sleep nowadays. juz refuse to get up.

nah mind. it's over. lynette wee was there. she was telling me to be spontaneous and abt some whom she interviewed yest. then to my horror, i got siva. !@#$&^#*&&#(&@) hahaz. "siva's quite strict." wow! lyk tt was of any help.

heck! had to go thru with it one way or the other. braced myself. stepped into the room. 4 familiar faces staring str8 back at me. from left to right, samuel tan, siva, kylash, yos. interesting isn't it?

to sum things up, i did a cheer, danced the chorus of whiney whiney, sang the first 2 verses of the sch song. they were all laffing at me. threw my face big time. things are looking good. shuld stand a rather high chance. guess i'll only noe when i get back from my trip.

wat can i say? interviews somehow don't scare me. been thru 2 diff types tis yr. the formal one - OCIP and the "nonsense" kind - OGL.

on the whole, vj's not too bad. at least i've learnt how to sell myself well. learnt also how to let loose and rise to the occasion.

juz realised tis is a long entry. i'm having fun typing u see. guess i beta stop. shuld be continuing tonite. wahahaz.

oh yah, he msged tis morning. shuld i be hapie or sad? i'm juz deceiving myself by believing all the wrong signals. dam! and i've reached a conclusion tt i'd tell him b4 i leave yet i dun tink i'll hv the courage too.

"Dare to be naive."

18th Nov '03.

wat a day.

met him after all. was getting the jitters hours before. however, calmed down so much on the way there tt i fell asleep on the bus.

lemme see, his color combi sux! big time! wore his fav yellow belt. thank gdness he dint tuck in his shirt so it dint show. hahaz.

anyway matrix revolutions? cool show huh. much beta than reloaded. oh and it was my treat! he toks a hell lot, thruout the movie.

dint hv dinner. so looks lyk the treat's being postponed again. he wasn't hungry and had to go home early cos he's having a wisdom tooth op tmr.

was at suntec the whole time. he bot a red/grey reebok running suit. $53.80. rich kid! wat can i say rite. basically we spent time "shopping". more lyk i was waiting for him rather than buying stuff.

everything felt so weird initially, it was juz the it-was-nv-meant-to-be feeling. even then, i still dint feel the pinch. similar to living a dream. decided to cast aside all worries and enjoy myself.

well i guess i did it! managed everything well. now comes the after effects. arghz. saw it coming. i'm dealing now. trying hard not to tink though it's hard, dam hard.

guess the only bonus was he reali lyked the tie. thanked me more than 10 times. tt was a huge relief! he said i had good taste and tt was his second tie. how honoured. hahaz.

ahhhh i'm feeling so mixed up now. he's not exactly the perfect gentleman but i don't give a shit. i'm majorly sensitive, i shrug at the slightest things. there're so many things i wanna say but i dunno where to start. i can onli bottle it and hope it goes smoothly down the throat.

i wish life wasn't so complicated.

i wish love wasn't tis confusing.

i wish.. i wish.. i wish..

Open Arms - Journey

Lying beside you here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere
How could our love be so blind

We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side

So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide, Believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms

Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay

so it's D-day.

tis is rather nerve-wrecking as the hours pass.

praying everything will be alright.

i shall juz be myself though it's kinda difficult.

my beloved couz dua me laz nite. msged at 0140h that she's not coming over alredi. my poor sis actuali waited up for her. and today, she was supposed to go the gym with my sis but she ended up sleeping on my bed for 3h. *bish*

*growl* and tt was my tummy. feeling hungry again. sharks! shall sleep on it.

will keep u posted on tmr's happenings. hopefully there's nutin too drastic.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it."

went window shopping. very disciplined today. dint buy anything other than ice-cream bread. fattening! i'm so FAT! hahaz.

my mummy's not feeling too well. she's juz trembling within. i feel so helpless. dunno wat to do. on the other hand, could be due to her mentality. she has become very pessimistic. how to help?

HE called. hehz. initially was to ask abt geog. as usual, digressed to crap.

so now i'm supposed to decide on the plans for tues. can somebody gimme suggestions? where to eat? i'm so sian of everything alredi. seems lyk i've tried all the places.

my couz coming over to stay. feeling sleepy alredi though i've been awake for onli 12h.

tried the chem online lecture juz now. CMI. i was totally distracted. can pause it then do other things. so not useful at all. still prefer the traditional lecturing style. get over and done with once and for all. tis one, can drag till forever.

countdown: 1 day.

FRI: handed in GPF. now i can officially say, 'EVERYTHING'S OVER!' played mj aft tt. won. ponned OCIP mass dance lesson. went for training. met my mum for dinner. lovelorn couz came over to tok & drink. lights out at 0130h.

SAT: spent the whole day with my mum. met the claz for their steamboat bbq dinner. din eat. dun lyk tt kinda food but it's lyk one of the few places where u can hv such a big grp gathering. ate ljs at ps. watched cold creek manor since terina & sherlyn adviced me not to watch wishing stairs. ah, the show? was not tt good anyway. no diff i guess.

2 journal entries. super summarized. actually i hv lotsa things i wanna say but i forgot most and too lazy to type.

however, certain highlights lyk, 'he called' and 'he msged' meant a lot to me.

fri nite when he called i was rather surprised. first thing he said was, "i'll tok to u for 5 min cos i'm gonna sleep soon." do u reali tink it was the call was worth 5 min? nahz. as usual it dragged for some time. we were sorta planning wat time to meet and wat to do on tues.

sat morn he suddenly sms-ed saying he wans to watch some french fighting show. wat will happen to my matrix?! *sigh* by hook or by crook i'm gonna watch matrix.

in the evening again he msged. tis time was abt NZ lost to Aus in rugby. why bother telling me? not as if i'd understand. i ended up shoo-ing him off to study.

bz week coming up. though hols hv supposedly finally started, i gotta go back sch lyk 4 times i tink. sianz manz. stupid OCIP! wasting all my time.

heard tt xiaohui's going poly. maybe she'll be beta off there though she has so-called wasted a yr in mjc. nia mind. she'll graduate somehow. meeting up either on thurs or fri to celebrate her bdae. hope it'll be juz as fun as eva!

gtg now. lunch time. woke up so late. been sleeping so late cos of pw. meeting jem later, heading to causeway pt. visiting her kev work. see? i'm so nice. hahaz it's also good to get out of town area once in awhile.

"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere."

OP's finally over! song bo?

quite satisfied with myself. at least i noe i dint screw my Q&A. or tt's wat i tink cos tt asshole examiner asked me onli one question and dint probe any further. whereas for the rest, they had to ans lyk 2 questions or an extension to the original one.

juz finished pia-ing Group Project File. i juz wonder why do i bother since the rest don't seem to bother? all interested in playing. i am too, but somebody's gotta pick up the scrapes rite? who's it gonna be? the grp leader - ME!

anyway the countdown's officially begun for me. free from all attachments other than OCIP meetings. get thru' the weekend and soon on tues will come.

tis is lyk a mirror of promos. lack of sleep, stressed up, blah blah blah. beta catch up on some rest now. tink i need it terribly. overshot my bus stop once again today.

"Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win."

ARGHZ! whole darn lot of research to annotate. tried following the VJC resource package way of evaluation but mr lee prefers it his way. muz pull thru. two more days then i can sing, "i'm lyk a bird, i only fly away. i dunno where my home is, i dunno where my soul is."

so now it's yong teck 'an lian' sherlyn. wahahaz wat a bdae surprise rite? tis is NEWS to me manz. believe it or not, he bot her a pooh bear. woohoo! wat's going on? sherlyn, consider him la. hahaz but even if u reject him, he'll be expecting it. not the first time he's getting rejected anyway. oopz! now tt was M-E-A-N.

called to inform him abt tmr's pw meeting. suddenly thot of sherlyn telling me how he asked her out over the phone. almost burst out laffing.

went parkway thrice today. 1.wif keith, karseng, yuming. faked a meeting minutes. ate a free crispy pancake from water rise and ya kun's kaya toast. 2.met sherlyn for lunch. ate macs. 3.advised my darling couz at BK while hving taro turnover. long time no eat liaoz sia. missed it terribly.

was trying to convince my couz to get over her ex. tink i was rather contradicting. playing the reverse & forward psychology game on her. sincerely hope she'll be alrite soon.

hahaz mav asked me to consider shawn. told jem abt it. we both agreed tt sth had to be done abt the face. hehz aren't we juz so superficial? and being the materialistic me, i came up with a fool-proof suggestion. here goes:

u see, he's not gd-looking rite? so u can be sure he won't leave u, instead splurge on u. then, u can be tis loving gf while u two-time him. go for the other gd-looking one who u reali lyk even if he doesn't treat u as well.

the ugly side of me. muahahaha. lyk i give a shit abt wat u tink rite.

had OCIP meeting today. sharing room with crystal (tink tis is not her spelling) kwa from 03a54. gotta noe her thru mingz sometime beginning of tis yr. we had to bid for the projects we wanted to do in nepal. each grp was given 10pts. guess wat? we're the slackest of all. got the painting job & some dental school thing. best was, we still had remaining pts while the others were bankrupt. sounds fun yet childish rite?

my mood's kinda good today. maybe aft one nite of worries.

countdown: 7 days

i juz can't wait. hopefully i get to meet him earlier on tt fateful day. the meeting shuld end quick.

"I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all."

yet another day has passed. ended with a BANG! why? cos he called.

partially enjoyed the conversation, partially regretted. why? cos he talked abt gf stuff.

if he has one, he wans her home by 10pm. now how's tt? i definitely dun fit the bill. i'm a late-out-stayer.

ahhh. i'm juz paranoid. tinking too much and way too far.

good thing was we sorta finalised where we were going and wat were the plans. planning to stay out late i guess.

he wanted to send me home if it were to late. i was lyk, "nonono." hahaz dunno why i dint wan oso.

guess wat triggered tis whole sea of emotions was him saying he doesn't wan us to be mistaken by others so avoiding orchard area. childish rite?

but it spells so many things. it's smack rite across my face, 'TOO BAD FOR U.'

to hell with everything. i tink i shuld juz get over and done with pw b4 other considerations take place.

suddenly there's a pessimistic gloom hanging over me. it reads, "i'm wallowing in sorrow & self-pity."

WAKE UP girl! tink i beta not let tis fantasy carry on too far.

see? it's all abt giving up again. i juz lose hope so easily. damn.

"The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself."

now at work. trying to waste as much time as possible. feeling rather bored. when will i go for lunch? it's noon alredi. it's not abt eating, rather taking a breather even though i hv nutin to do.

having dental later at 1445h. training at 1700h.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERLYN CHUA SHU ER!

wonder if the claz clique went out to celebrate sherlyn's bdae. no pt of me going cos i would hv to zao early.

gotta start memorizing my script. tmr is the second dry run. they had meeting today and i was not aware! how can tt be? hahaz maybe they're ostracizing against me.

oh one thing abt kar seng. i dun lyk the way he talks abt sherlyn. as in, to me it's a criticism. maybe we're juz of different frequencies. lingo's definitely different. wateva it is, the girls will always stand by one another.

hehz juz read mav's blog. says she confides the most in me. tt's true. as for me, moz of time i tell her stuff too. actuali i tell my clazmates lotsa stuff but mav still has the deeper insight.

i suddenly hv a crave for shopping. nutin much left to buy but juz enjoy gallavanting.

okiez tink the boss juz saw me doing tis. die~! aiyah heck la. sianz 1/2 alredi lor. beta get down to serious work liaoz. ciaoz!

i forgot to mention sth so impt tt happened on fri. all others would reali pale in comparison. he msged to ask abt the chi paper. then we chatted for awhile.

wingz couldn't take me i guess. i couldn't help grinning from ear to ear. braces were all showing. hahaz. had to manually cover my mouth.

during lunch today...

mum: seriously, is there anything going on btw shawn & u?
me: no. can't we juz be frens?
mum: maybe u feel tis way but does he tink the same way or not?
me: yes. there's nutin. even if there is, wat can u do?
mum: if there is, there's nutin i can do. i juz hope u find the rite guy.
me: haha. the rite guy is now bz studying.

i knew tis was gonna come sooner or later.

anyway went shopping today. fruitful! VNC was hving sale but when i first stepped in, couldn't find the pair i wanted. was also looking ard to see if there was anything similar to the U.R.S flaties. nutin!

then went to U.R.S. at citylink. they dint hv the flats anymore. was thoroughly disappointed. tried the suntec branch. nah. only hope was tampines. had to go down by today.

decided to shop ard in suntec first. went G2000. shawn bot a short sleeve shirt. $23. cheap sia. i chose the color. very nice! i'm not praising myself, even his aunt said it was nice!

he shopped for shirts, i shopped for shoes. samuel&kevin, hang ten, 37degree. VNC, U.R.S.&inc, charles&keith, jwest etc.

lucky me, went marina sq and found my flats there. went back to VNC to try others. suddenly i spotted the one i wanted. guess wat? it was on offer! 50%. sia la. can u imagine how hapie i was?

best part was shawn kept saying the shoe very nice. now he can't wait to see me wear it. asked him to bring me to some high claz place first. hahaz.

first time today i bot both shoes without hesitation. dont wanna hv the "wasted" or "such a pity i missed it" feeling. reali brimming with fulfilment.

sucessful day! i'm happy.

to reali wrap up such a wonderful day, he called. asked me relative velocity question. so long since i laz heard his voice alredi. sth a little worrying is i dint feel as much excitement as b4. maybe cos i'm overly satisifed today? i seriously hope tt is the only reason.

countdown: 8 days to go.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same."

i'm back! feeling kinda tired, will make it a quicky.

chatted on the phone till 4am laz nite. *pengz* still had pw in sch at 9 tis morn. quite used to getting so little sleep alredi.

talked abt hugging. i was expressing my views abt hugging. love being hugged, and love hugging ppl. it's tt warmth feeling. also mentioned how some like hugging me. so soft and nice. heez self-appraisal?

went groceries shopping with ms siow & husband, luckily wingz came along, if not kinda brite rite.

b4 tt, played pool with mavis at classic. 6-1. could hv made it 7-0. pot the wrong pocket for one. sad case. ooh saw wx there. amazingly, he was wearing a shirt. OP shirt. no comments. well at least it's an improvement i guess.

went suntec for lunch. saw panghao with wingyee. saw him when he got off 36 laz nite too. keep seeing him. hahaz. ehz ph, don't tink otherwise abt anything.

juz discovered tis lump on my neck. feels dam gross. tis morning my neck was aching. could it hv been due to tt? seems scary. should i see a doc? hope it goes away soon.

finally finished editing my OP script. darn mr lee said i presented lyk a 17-yr-old (yes, we all are). couldn't help it. got distracted so easily. actually looked at ppl who were walking along the corridor while speaking. i'll do a beta job on tues.

Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed."

i'm blogging early today. muz study for chinese. tink i'm rather complacent. other than tuition in the morning, i've been playing for lyk the whole day. was at mavis hse and we were so into taking pics with the nokia 6100 attached camera. my mum has one too. tink i'll be taking hell lot of them aft tmr. hahaz.

bad news! wx juz told me his nepal trip is cancelled due to political unrest. does tt imply mine will be cancelled too? i reali hope not cos we did put in effort to make arrangements for everything. even took the vaccine. would reali be wasting $51 and of cos inflicting unnecessary pain to my arm.

tossed and turned in bed laz nite but juz could not find a comfortable position. every turn was O-U-C-H! dint get a proper sleep. however, the pain was gone when i woke. it's lyk "yi du gong du" but tis time "yi tong gong tong".

highlight of the day: he msged! 'gd luck for tmr'
mavis was beside me and she said, "someone's on cloud no. 9!" hahaz i can't help it rite? at least he remembers, he bothers. tt's a consolation enuff.

GOOD LUCK to all taking chinese paper tmr, be it AO or O. stretch ur limits!

"I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."

You're Most Like The Season Winter ...

You're often depicted as the cold, distant season.
But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and
Independant. You have an air of power around
you - and that can sometimes scare people off.
You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you
rarely let people in if you can help it. You
can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily
you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be
negative, and hard to relate to, but you give
off a relaxed image despite being insecure -
and secretly many people long to be like you,
not knowing how deep the Winter season really
is.

Well done... You're the most inspirational of
seasons :)


?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

short entry today. rushing to watch Charmed.

had my 3rd jab. so i'm supposedly not to be getting influenza anytime soon.

left arm's hurting lyk nobody's bzness. can't move it with ease. even a little gesture would inflict pain.

still can play mj. dunno wat is die rite?

wrote tt i can't make it on the 18th of the OGL interview due to OCIP meeting. now tt's a load off my mind. at least it's one thing less so tt i can try to meet him.

noe wat? panghao & j-en were walking ard LT5 trying to get ppl to join their so-called OG with them as king & queen. *puke* only guillible ppl lyk u-noe-who believed them. hehz.

anyway, jm, cheer up! don't go on a binge cos u're troubled. not worth it. today should be one and only day tt such a incident occur. 3 words for u b4 i go: "Follow ur Heart."

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear."

oh yes, i forgot to mention abt the quarrel in the comp lab tis afternoon. not sure who the guys were but daniel lim intervened. a fight almost broke out. one of the guys quite good looking. heez. the other shuld hv known beta than to "re" the cute one. got a bit of the fabian kang seh. got rather psyched up when he shouted, "bastard, u dint see me how u noe i wasn't here the whole day?" eyes started to grow big aft tt. could see the other guy was somewhat scared but "cheng qiang" only, still can "ding zui". win liaoz. consider himself lucky for not having a coloured eye.

wat's happening to me? seeking pleasure from the mishaps of others. still feel quite shuang. hahaz. siao liaoz.

walked into claz yest at 0850h when lessons started at 0800h. my fault tt i dint set alarm but told my maid already. she's requested for an early return so it's the "xin bu zai yan" attitude. and i hate it esp when she plays with her hp. juz feel lyk snatching it and smashing it onto the ground!

took both the typhoid & tetanus vaccination on my left arm. only girl to do it! sorta sabo-ed the guys. hehz. dint hv much of a choice cos training has finally resumed. now it's aching lyk siao. actuali i won't say ache, more of the pain.

shopped at market place, paragon with ms siow aft training cos she was taking cab back so i could get a lift. suggested she have pan-fried dory fillet for dinner. even taught her how to prepare it. simple reali.

caught the 9pm infernal affairs 2 at plaza sing, one of the few places still showing. dint hv time for dinner cos i reached so late. ended up eating some buns from carrefour and nachos.

actually i feel tt shawn's very sweet. he'd make a good bf. he'll always tink abt others b4 himself, or at least so far it seems tt way to me. take laz nite for example, when i was home he asked if i was hungry, asked if my arm still hurts. it's all the little things tt can move u in one way or another. aiyoh choy! how can i tink of tis? shall use the cliché: "wo men shi bu ke neng de." muz start to intro him gd girls. hahaz.

one more thing, we exchanged cds. i burnt him aguilera's album. he burnt me clay aiken's. reminds me of those days when i was very close to kaibei. talked a whole lot abt songs, then i decided to burn him one with all thoz we tot were nice. seems lyk there was telepathy cos he was burning me one as well. only to find out tt every song had a concealed meaning behind, it freaked me a little.

tink the vaccines taking effect. the doc said tt when the body starts to produce antibodies, it takes up a lot of energy and we'd tend to feel tired. i've been feeling hella lethargic since morning.

ponned sch, went for tuition instead. decided tt i dint wan double dosage of chinese. carried on with pw in keith's hse. so now i noe where he stays. surprise of the day: yuming appeared. dint make things any beta anyway. he's weird. he's not sure of the basic facts lyk which channels belong to which company but he can argue his way thru the economics of it.

juz hope tt everything runs smoothly tmr. as long as we present ok, the slides will do the job by taking the audience in awe.

played 3-leg mj. quite sian. basically not used to it. the doubles can really build to a humungous number as compared to normal mj playing style.

dunno why been tinking of him everytime my mind drifts into space. i dun lyk the feeling. eeirks!

hmmz i received a call from an SC, dint catch her name. got shortlisted for OGL. initially i tot i dint make it cos jm was saying grace had her name. tis will be a bonus for me. there's a briefing at 1330h tmr. aft tt i hv influenza vaccination at 1400h. maybe i'll go first again?

guess wat? rem i was bitching abt aohea? she forwarded an email to everyone saying how disappointed she was and, listen up, here's the best part. she praised bing liang & i for taking the initiative to lead the rest when we went up to ask for their suggestions & opinions. woohoo! amazing. and i still tot she was pissed off with us.

the ball is really round, the world revolves ard an axis, u can nv predict wat will happen.

"We don't accomplish anything in this world alone. Whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something."

yest went sch for pw in the morning. got sth done. phew! slacked at home watching vcds till church time. 5h movie marathon. Infernal Affairs 1 followed by Lord of the Rings - the Two Towers. 2 fantastic shows. i dint fall asleep. my stamina for home-movies getting better.

saw the whole bunch of cathecism claz guys. been a reali long time. felt lyk some "bu yue er tong" gathering. hahaz day of obligation mah. anyway only smiled and said hi to some. felt so stranger. dispense with all formalities can? doesn't matter. next i'll be seeing them would be x'mas.

slept late laz nite, hoping to sleep in a lil' longer today, then my mum came to wake me. best part was she asked if i had tuition and even aft i said no, she continued toking to me. i was rather pissed. lyk, hello, i'm trying to get some sleep here. i noe u're awake but i'm not!

so got up in the end. watched Finding Nemo. i dunno if it's becos i've heard too much abt it or wat but the show was so-so. it exhibits moral values esp for strained parent-child relations.

paid my aunt's fren a visit for lunch. hehz she juz opened a stall near my grandpa's hse, near vj too. worked for her laz yr at toa payoh baking cookies. should bring u guys to sample the food. let's see, nasi lemak, lontong, chee cheong fun, yam cake. *yummy* the yam cake's the best! haven tasted anything lyk tt anywhere b4. partially due to the sweet sauce.

beta stop toking abt food. ate so much today. had strawberry cheesecake for breakfast. avg onli. my godma gave to us. was from hotel new otani. meant to be shared in the office but she brot it back.

went church again. tis time was to fulfil the sunday obligation. tis week is a special week due to clashes. anyway, i dunno why but i juz couldn't stop tinking of him. he forwarded a msg laz nite by the way. is tt why?

i'm having OCIP meeting in the morning on the 18th. dunno how long it'll last. scared i can't make it in time to meet him. ok tt's besides the pt, i juz suddenly pictured us together, hving so much fun. i tink i'm tinking too much.

watching Infernal Affairs 2 aft training tmr with wingz. muz catch it so i can catch part 3 as well.

yay! there's training tmr. though i tink i've lost lyk 3/4 of the zest i used to hv, nevertheless, i'm looking forward to finally getting to hold my ball again.

injured my left knee. there's an ache when i walk. moz prob due to floorball. juz hope it heals on its own. dun wanna spend more money. and toking abt $, i hv 3 vaccinations to take. tetanus, the flu & typhoid fever. total cost: $51.

tmr taking the 2 jabs, tt is if my health permits. was sick yest but thanx to the "shen qi shui" - leng yang, my throat's cleared alredi. hopefully the nurse allows me to take the jabs, if not i've to go and take them myself. no thanx man. long needles freak me out ever since laz yr.

my claz, sux! no one remembers abt bdae celebrations. it's always me. thank gdness weixin realised it. i reali wanna wash my hands off tis whole redundant issues but it'll definitely not ease my conscience. so i guess i juz hafta bite on.

everyone cares only for themselves, at least it's starting to show. dint expect true colors to appear so quickly. and of cos, they'll jzu hafta say, 'it's ok, no celebrations doesn't matter.' but deep down, i'm sure everyone wans to feel special for a day in the yr.

maybe next yr is time for me to change. hope he comes in, i'll juz not bother with the claz anymore, spend time with him juz lyk when jm & cx were together. arghz. i noe i'm saying tis outta spite. temporary release of anger.

"Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning."