finally stepped into suntec after ages, or like lisa would say, 17000 yrs. felt good shopping though half my mind was pre-occupied with the chapters that are gonna be tested for f math tis sat. screwed up my math alredi, dun wish to screw another paper up although it seems inevitable.

saw a nice pair of slippers at VNC. unfortunately, there was only size 8 left. it's always the case. whenever i like sth, there would either be no stock or no size. how sad. charles&keith dint hv the pairs i was aiming for anymore. on the brighter side, the cash can be added to my savings.

chinese is no longer a necessity for uni admission criteria. in a way, it may sound really good esp to AC ppl. tink abt it, if chinese was included, which it should be since china is now expanding its market, ppl who can score in chinese, including myself will hv a slight advantage as compared to the i-refuse-to-speak-chinese ppl.

hv been praying over the dilemma of whether or not to retake if i had gotten an a2. guess the answer is obvious now. could be a blessing in disguise.

back to sch tmr. starting a brand new week. ONE more week to work hard then i can relax. looking forward to the laz week of sch where there's no more test. oh wellz, tis week will soon be over.

blogs are no longer personal, or were they ever meant to be? people read and rat on u. get a life! don't u hv better things to do?

u noe who u are, and tis is to u, "FUCK OFF!"

oh yes, maybe soon i'll get another person running to me wanting to clear the air. WOW! why am i not surprised.

hectic week for me. bz studying chem. finally the test was over tis morning. i thot it was ok but the others were totally put off by it. oh wellz, guess we can only tell when the results are out.

O level results were released yest. my couz got 9pts. well done! hope she comes vj. wincent - 7pts. jane & diana (bowling juniors) - 6pts. WTH!! hahaz. smarty pants!! py - 9 pts. mel - 14pts. clara - 20 pts. siobhan - 11pts. aubrey - 12 pts. julz - 9pts. him - 7pts. smart ass!

happy for bun. when i spoke to her on thurs, she was rather worried and was expecting 12. guess she muz be exhilarated. she said she studied damn hard.

accompanied my mum to select my new maid. picked one tt was on the plum side. chubby and cute. hopefully she doesn't turn vain so quickly.

my mood is getting terrible. there were people who pissed me off yest. shall not mention names. still feeling a little sore. it's so weird. a one-sided cold war? internal battle for me. hoping the weekend would calm the raged senses.

i've lost my social life, or tt is wat i feel. nvm. hang in there for one more week and all the restriction/imprisonment will be over, not for long though. 2-3 weeks at most.

screwed up my math. worried for f math esp when it's all of my weakest topics. gotta start working hard.

haven seen alexius & gareth for a really long time. can't even remember when was the laz time i played with them. missing alexius loads! want very much to see them but i juz can't find the time to spare.

when will tis misery be over? it is all tests, tests and more tests. life juz has to go on. i will strive for the best for my As.

erpz! failed GP. EXPECTED. then again, after going thru' the ans, i realize, it's an easy paper. actually i felt it was an easy paper on the test day itself, but the laz compre i did was the promo paper. centuries ago lehz. got dam low for the language marks. feel so loser-tic.

my life seems to be alternating b/w gd & bad days.

today is totally off. blow me away! andy ng said i dint pay the $10 deposit for my sis' jersey. WTH?! I DID! I SWEAR! oh wells, am i gonna lose $10 juz like this?

chanks walked out of claz today. guess we went overboard but he could hv exerted a little authority to hush us. he dint, he juz walked str8 out the door and i dint even realise. now who's gonna pacify him? certainly not me.

had a joy ride in the morning to airport. 2 push factors to continue on the bus: 1. late for school. 2. panghao was on the bus too.

found my new eye candy! he's not cute though. attracted cos he resembles HIM. i name him, "the Bassist". he's got seh manz.

feeling so worn out. and to tink it's only the first term of the yr. when the tests ever end? after A levels.

i can't grasp chem. i'm able to understand and rationalise the concepts behind the mechanisms and stuff but i dun seem to be able to ans test questions. wat's the matter with me?

i'm juz pathetic. don't be like me. go ahead, live ur life happily.

tmr is ash wednesday. will i see leo in church? always wanted to apologize for the things tt i hv done but lacked he courage. and when we talk, it seems there is a barrier. i feel so superficial. haiz.

wat's going on in my life? am i hitting an all-time low once and again?

thinking abt it, maybe tis is PMS. mood swing. somehow i feel tt i hv beta control of my moods nowadays. lucky brother cos i realize i vent a lot of anger on him. i've been a bad sis. i want to change. changing means not being a perfectionist. now that is real hard. we'll see abt it as time goes on.

"In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family’s story embodies its hope and despair."

seven (7) -> four (4). my secret no.! made trg feel so much beta.

life is getting as monotonous as it can be. nutin but school - lectures, tutorials, tests.

fallen sick, started with a sore throat to running nose. it doesn't help matters when u're having a 2h math test and ur nose is dripping, using 1.5 packets of tissue. tissue seems to be my best fren now.

i'm so grumpy nowadays. help me!

passed my NAFA. thx to mr wee who gave me pointers and told me to do 50 half-squats in preparation for standing broad jump. mysteriously, my 2.4km timing improved a hell lot. 40sec.

pissed with the Student Councillors. so much for sticking by the rules, being inflexible, rigid pieces of shit! when it came to jm's band to audition, they made an annoucement that all grps from then on were given only 5min. WTH?!! c'mon, somehow i tink in the application form it was written 10min. UNFAIR is the word.

rachel chia still dared stare at me when i voiced out. convey my msg to her, "FUCK U!"

juz dun get on my nerves these days. i can't control my temper anymore. it's rampant. could be due to stress & tension from school work. can't figure the actual reason. bear with me.

shopped with jm for kevin's bdae prezzie. she's rather generous i muz say. finally got a pair of boxers for lubin, in exchange for my 2 sunflowers. coming home everyday and having thoz 2 bright yellow flowers greet me is sth heartwarming. also, a reminder tt i had beta get a present in return. wonder if he'll wear it.

the bassist in shamir's band is attractive! he reminds me so much of ken teo. his side view, his charisma, his exuding confidence, etc. he's PRO.

seeing him reminds me of u, then i tink back, and i realise wat a fool i was by letting u noe. it was all my fault. if i had done nutin, we could still be happily chatting on the phone, sms-ing gd nite msg. it was a big mistake yet i do not regret it. though i've learnt to let go, even as a fren, i miz u.

"i feel ugly. am i not?"

mr lee keng hua! chao kao peh! can't stand him anymore. arghz.

the general mood was a little unusual today in school. from the subtle resentment of sherlyn abt having to drop phy S to the after effects of dropping phy S from weexiong, the crappiness & lameness of panghao, ri-liang's perpetual candidness, jiemin's singing etc.

anyway, andy ng noes my name! like WOW! was paying the balance for the soccer jersey and he spotted my name himself. totally amazed! juz is such a great day isn't it?

julian leh, kept spotting him ard. found out tt he's the kind who cares quite a fair bit abt studies. actually duh, if not he'll long be in acjc. sis told me helena & beh said he belongs to the under avg category. hahaz. sad. nerdish type of cute. i tink he's a mugger too! oopz!

let's not go into PT cos it juz makes my blood boil to see ppl not taking it seriously. sometimes, i reali wanna give up. who gives a damn anyway.

my 2.4km timing is freaking slow. DAMN IT! to tink i've been running so much more recently.

hopefully tmr will be another fine day. got trg at victor's in the evening. wonder if we'll bump into the combined schs squad. and if so, wat is gonna happen? reckon nutin much either. could be another test of whether i'm really over him.

got back physics common test today. did beta than expected. or shuld i say i had no expectations? can somebody help me change my attitude towards physics?!!

anyway, tis test was a real shocker cos many of the phy S ppl are being forced to drop. it's weird. can't explain it. juz like sherlyn told jm, "even adrin got higher than us when laz yr he failed promos."

guyz, cheer up ok? there's still a long way ahead. don't give up, don't lose hope! guess sherlyn is the moz affected cos it's obvious tt she wants to take 2 S. i oso dunnoe wat to say.

there's tis fear in me now abt failing math common test tis sat. one thing i noe is tt i dun wanna drop math S. tension is high once agn. there's PT tmr so i can work thoz fats plus stress out. for now it's back to doing math. cya!

tis is gonna be a quicky. work load is craziness. not forgetting tt math ca is tis sat and i haven even started. hoh seh alredi la.

had trg today. lost my form. why does it always happen? i hate the roller coaster ride in my bowling life. it sux! i wanna help myself but i dunno how to. i lost my rotation. i need it to get it back. maybe i'm a little too hasty. like unc francis said, "u shuld peak at the right time. now it's juz to get u in tune."

it sux to see the team so unbonded, but wat's new anyway? i look at the sailors, they're so united. then i look at us, we like dispersed seeds. there seems to be no commitment from anybody, maybe including myself? oh well, first thing is to get my bowling back on track.

eric came down today. watching movie, yet again! ever since his operation, he seemed to hv put on some weight. very cute! tink he shuld put on more weight so he'll look healthy. either way, he's cute la, wanna pinch his cheeks! sth to do with the specs? he switched to contacts i guess. hahaz.

i'm going nuts over the julian issue. regret saying i hv a crush on him cos everything is somehow related to him. the fact tt my clazmates keep harping on it, isn't helping much either. in truth, i'm getting rather sick of it.

who cares abt guys? suddenly realise the importance of studies. strive on!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

sad day for me tis yr. seriously LONELY! slept my whole afternoon away. guess as u grow older, life gets lonelier. gotta learn to survive on my own. even my mum was surprised to see me home. how bad can tt get? she was expecting me to be back late i suppose.

got 2 yellow roses from panghao, 1 from yongkang, and a 'daisy' from bryan today. thanx guys! also got a small keychain teddy bear shared by chris, maxi & julian.

X-country was not too bad. though my aim was not to walk but i still did. hard to run with so many ppl. came in 197 which is an improvement of 200+ positions from laz yr. the wonder of vj pe.

friday the 13th, however, was a beta day? bryan surprised jm & myself in the morning when he gave us a pink rose each. stole a hug from him too! hahaz. panda popped a present for me. kinda touched. lubin gave me 2 artificial sunflowers in parkway where i had to walk ard with it. gave julian his keychain with a personalised wrapping. abt 10 layers? said he liked it but how true is tt? dunnoe.

went grocery shopping with bryan cos happened to meet him in macs. he was alone. so poor thing. but hey, at least he has a date tonite. cooking for dom. how sweet. so i helped him pick green apples.

clara fu called the singles losers, including herself. hahaz. therefore, i hereby welcome myself to the loser club!

dam it! i feel lyk i'm wallowing in self-pity. disgusting! the day will be over in a few hours. hang in there!

congratulations to val teo who hit a perfect game yest.

hapie b-dae to val lee!

u wun believe wat tutorial i touched today. tangents & normals. how overdue is tt? went to my mum's office to do it while accompanying her. great ambience cos it's quiet and no distractions.

queenie quek called me out of the blue today. freaky though. certain things hv to be left unsaid. i dun wan to dig in further too.

finally had the chance to watch 'lost for words' jam. the band name, it was accidental how i came up with it. proud of it! hahaz. i muz say guys look dam attractive when they jam. dun ask me why. lubin has the drummer seh sia. dam cool!

met mavis at bugis. gosh! she's attached to tai on like only today. tt's fast. went V-8 to eat. reasonable pricing. tried on the top at 77th street. so tempted to buy. it's super low cut. nvm i'll carry it off well.

guess wat? i'm some sort on cloud 9. chatted with julian on msn cos dear ri-liang reali added him into the conversation. not bad, quite bubbly. tt's as far as the story goes.

sean: julian noes vanessa, ur gf. how small is tis world? or shuld i say s'pore.

simple day, lotsa happenings. great day! hapie with each living day tt passes by. new week ahead. gotta be hardworking once agn.

"The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it."

SAGITTARIUS: November 22 - December 20
You're insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them.

now, how true is tt huh?

well, yet another week has past. the countless happenings, the mental stress, the laughters and not forgeting the incredibly heavy workload. at least one load is off my shoulder now - physics common test.

let's see, i paiseh-ed myself in front of julian by asking the girls to take his photo with adrin's new LG phone. he heard. oh wow! why am i not surprised. used to it alredi.

can't reali remember any other outstanding matters other than the juniors are blood suckers. they cant follow simple instructions. pissed with them.

frenship day/V-dae is coming. i hv no date. how sad. still rem i spent laz yr with huisan, lubin, ri-liang & panghao. not forgetting i met ken C. aft tt. it was the bez so far. and how can i ever miz the part where he wanted a hug but i rejected cos nelly was there. other than her, the day was close to perfect.

juz checked my SAT score. 1440. ri-liang keeps on asking me to retake. hmmz how? tink i shuld not waste my $ rite? but i'm ambitious by nature. nvm i shall tink abt it.

been playing a lot of mahjong. of cos, been winning too. wanna buy a pair of slippers. charles&keith having offer now, shuld i?

worked out at the bedok gym with von, weixin & terina today. feeling so shacked but haiz, still got so much work to catch up on.

"Life is such. Such is life."

i'm changing once agn. the feeling is so overwhelming. going back to my old, old self. the dao me. dunno wat's wrong with me oso. juz not feeling rite. hormonal changes?

take tis morning for example, maybe i was reali too tired but i juz dint feel lyk opening my mouth to tok to kenneth in church so i nodded and shook my head. and i 'hate' to see him coz it's a love-hate emotion. brrrz.

slept from abt 9am to 2pm after jm & wx left from overnite mj. as usual, had fun yet at the same time impatient with adrin. haiz. he's seriously trying too hard to fit in the clique. hate it when ppl do such things. well, he's not as terrible as he initially was, but tt doesn't mean tt i get all friendly.

jts at fish&co. yest was gd. jm, grace, von & i shared a fish&chips, swordfish and seafood platter for 2. undisputably yummy-licious! one gd thing: found some peace within after ignoring ali. may not be right but tt's a start.

i was almost late for GP common test. wth! thank gdness mummy pia-ed me down to school. it's tt rusty feeling. couldn't exactly handle the compre though it was not difficult i muz say. wait and see lorz.

juz realised i hv been back tracking the events. arghz! i'm so bored. supposed to be doing work but feeling so lethargic to get down to it. supposed to write bryan's testi but no mood. supposed to do so many things but.buT.bUT.BUT.

anyway, Happy belated Birthday BRYAN! 31st Jan.

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAVIS!

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."