a memorable day in pulau tekong.

this entry is dedicated to my dear couz, the new recruit shawn.

fact or fiction? so many questions have intrigued my little brain. the challenge to the orthodox christian faith. does what we believe in today more than meets the eye? an association between mary magdalene, the cleansed prostitute who is supposedly of royal blood and jesus, is it justified?

the da vinci code was mine in under 12 hours. soon to be, angels and demons.

in spite of this, the day was terrible. it started off the wrong way and is ending the wrong way too. my plans seem to be thwarted. what i was ever-so-confident in has let me down big time. thankful to the book for total indulgence thru' out the entire day. maybe it's time i take time off to reflect on my life so far and what i want for the future.

the mysteries that will unravel in time to come will leave you in awe.

an eventful weekend i would say.

tried suki sushi on friday with mingz (finally got to see her after some time), khoon wee and wingz. the day was pretty much about slacking and enjoying.

east zone colour awards was held at yuying secondary this year. had to squeeze my poor feet into mum's court shoes. ate with mum at killiney kopitiam (siglap). the mix of butter and coconut milk made me feel nausea. then in the evening, probably indigestion plus i sat on some merry-go-round which made me throw up my dinner. stomach still felt queasy and was cramping. ended up throwing up my lunch too. felt more like food poisoning actually.

was feeling much better this morning and could accompany mum to giant at turf city. went shopping with jem in the afternoon, started looking around for prom stuff. no worries for me cos mingz has already agreed to help me re-design my old dress. ended up at The Coffee Connoiseur, nice place, nice beverages.

proceeded to devonshire road for the talk that chanks recommended. now another option is open for me. i benefited from it in the sense that at least now i roughly know what i can do in future, maybe a career path will be laid out for me. btw, it's United Artistes NETWORK! yeap, that's the missing N. the presenter, terrence, is handsome! at certain angles, he reminded me of kaibei. he was good-looking that my eyes were glued on him thru' out the entire presentation. it's a natural phenomenon!

shawn's going to the army on wednesday. hopefully i get to see him off. there's goes one brother for me. though he may be my cousin but he's as close as an older brother to me.

suddenly missing the people in my life. things seem to be changing at such a rapid speed. i dunno if you still read my blog, but if you do, i want you to know that i'm missing you. it's irritating when you reply sms-es half the time. i know i shouldn't be feeling this way but i can't help it. it's not something that i can control. if i could, i'd chose to feel otherwise. take care and really hope to see you soon, hopefully it's possible.

i'm proud to say that i MAY pass math S although it might still be an UNCLASSIFIED grade. the best paper thru' out the entire prelims. why? because i'm sitting in there waiting for time to pass without any stress just enjoying myself doing math. i couldn't stop smiling when i watch the hours pass. i guess the invigilators must think i'm mad.

anyway, headed for k-box after that with jem to meet wx and adrian. singing is taxing but fun! "sexy sexy sexy, naughty naughty naughty, bitchy bitchy bitchy ME!" we stayed till almost 4pm when the time limit was till 2pm. that's a plus point about k-box, they don't actually bother to chase you out. played POOL too! my oh my, it's been a long long time, i think half a year or less. wasn't that bad, accuracy is obviously off but after some warming up, my long shots came back and my breaking improved! all in all, i spent $10. the best deal in town, where can you get such a steal?!

cooked pasta for my mum's colleagues who came over to play mahjong. in the end, i got to play too. yay! it's also been ages since i last touched those tiles. managed to game. ain't too rusty.

doesn't my day sound like some tai-tai life i'm leading? it feels so damn good! had fun the entire day. in a very good mood too.

to top it up, UAN (i'm not very sure what it stands for) called me to go for a talk and Q&A session this sunday at devonshire road. they are looking for people to groom in management etc. "mr chan gave us your number, he said that you had potential." wahaha. HUH?! you must be kiddin'! they put it in such a nice way i couldn't turn down their offer. ok, all this is crap. actually chanks smsed grace and jem and told them about it already. so he gave the interested names to them. all i know is that they have links with the media industry. so cool! you'll never know, i could be the next superstar! YEAH RIGHT!

it was a dilemma between UNCLASSIFIED or ABSENT. then i decided that i should try my luck and who knows maybe a MERIT will appear.
however, now it is a case of confirmed UNCLASSIFIED. of all times, the internet explorer must go cranky. having difficulties to have access to the solutions.
maybe it was all fated. should have never tried S paper in the first place. so much for being SPECIAL. indeed, extraordinary i would say.
well, it doesn't really matter now because as far as i am concerned, prelims are finally over. only towards the end that i bucked up, so i have no idea what the results are going to be like. most probably crap again.

guess what? i stumbled onto another blog once again. this is what happens when i'm too free. actually i'm taking a break now. yeap. ken C.'s gf!! my ex-crush, or still a crush, or i also dunno. she's so childish, that's the impression i get from what i read. well, who knows, people out there may think i'm childish too, always complaining and bitching. the next time i see him, which is most probably x'mas is gonna be a one-sided weird because i'll know the happenings between them. *grinz* eeky!! it's about one K after the other. hope all the Ks spread their wings and fly out of my heart. i should start by un-locking it first. hahaz.

ONE last paper, which happens to be F Math. oopz! actually there's still math S. i think that will be 3hours of stoning for me. wonder if i should get an ABSENT grade or UNCLASSIFIED. totally relaxed now. slept the earliest in weeks yesterday - 11+pm. tonight should be sleeping early too.

anyway let me talk about my absurd dream on saturday night. it was more a nightmare actually. he got together with another girl who is attached! from what i know, the girl and her bf are 'madly in love'. how could it ever be? climax was when he told me directly that they're together. i was shocked! all the weirdest thoughts were running thru' my head. what's going to happen to her bf? next i knew, my alarm rang. i was SO RELIEVED to wake up. it was all a dream! i never felt happier on a sunday morning waking up at 8am. bizarre sub-conscious mind i have. i told mav about it already, so it won't come true. hahaz.

waiting for shen zhi to return khoon wee 'the da vinci code'. planned to read it after prelims so now's the time. next in line would be 'angels and demons'. yes, i know i'm lagging. it's okay. reading is not one of my past times.

in a blink of an eye, the weekend is gone, again. honestly, i'm in a relax mood already. no sense of urgency that i'm having a paper tmr. plus it's an afternoon paper doesn't make me any more want to pia. basically was out buying stuff and eating the past two days. went to the food fest at suntec on saturday and got soup, pork floss, raisins and prunes. on top of that, tissue was on offer and home has ran out of tissue boxes, so we got them as well. had nydc before that and went carrefour after that. today we had breakfast at bedok, near shop&save, not too bad, the food is cheap and good. the lotus pau is nice! bought more stuff from shop&save and the market. new discovery! there is a newly opened baking shop next to shop&save. it sells all the baking necessities. makes me wanna bake. unfortunately, eggs are expensive! anyway, mum got the almond jelly recipe from her friend last night and we tried doing it today. not bad! turned out well for a first attempt. there's room for improvement though. ah, saturday morning, i went to sji. my first time entering considering all these years i've been looking at it from the outside. looks a very condusive school environment. i saw the bowling champion trophy displayed right in the middle of the cabinet. encouraging my bro to go there, that is if he ever wants to start putting in effort. so i've collected my prize and it turned out to be $20 worth of macdonald's vouchers and an old macdonald's watch which i gave to my bro. sold $10 worth of vouchers to my sis for $7.50. hahaz. damn cheapo right? now i'm stuck with another $10. haven't been eating fast food for a long time and not intending to. shall wait for sis to snap up the rest too. maybe i should eat macs since i'm now a member! wow!

majorly pissed off now with my mum. yes mother, i did NO work at all. what i do all day is slack. your dinner drops from the sky. no, wait, your dinner comes from your precious two. they are the ones who prepare and cook everything. yes, i coop myself in my room the whole day waiting to be served.

i fucking slog my guts out while the other two stroll home and you say i do nothing!

is there still justice in the world?

i'm sorry the day had to end this way. it was going alright for me. the paper was so-so, not going to do extremely well but pass-able. at least i had a great time out at suntec and a satisfying swim in the evening. dinner turned from sour to somewhat pleasant. i was irritated with the adults pressing me to eat. i ordered my share already, so can't you just wait? started to warm up a little and found myself in a better mood. the horror happened in the car on the way home.

tears were at the rims already. i really feel like all i've done is not appreciated. even then, you don't appreciate it, that's fine. just keep mum and not accuse me of not doing anything. partly also it's pms time so i get easily moody. if this were to carry on every month, i'll die of depression.

i doubt anyone will or can understand the situation i am in. i just wish there's someone to always turn to. unfortunately, there's no permanent person and all the rest are pre-occupied. it's just down to me and you, my blog.

the past 2 papers were horid.
and guess the subjects?
MATH and CHEM.
oh wow!
so that's the end of me.
i'm gonna flunk my prelims.
and i mean what i say.
maybe the class is used to seeing me so stupid,
but certainly not friends and relatives.
so here i am, meet the REAL STUPID me!

HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY RICHIE BOY!

hopefully bro's b-day will see a wind of change for me.
now i really do need a miracle.
maybe i've already gotten one.
i couldn't get to sleep last night
and now i'm still wide awake.
weird things happening to my body system.
who knows when i'm gonna konk out.

oh wait. did i mention?
i won a online crossword puzzle contest.
i never got to see it.
i only helped solve 2 words.
my aunt submitted it for me
and i WON!
they emailed the school.
mr lee just called.
gotta get a letter
then collect my prize from SJI,
of all schools.

SUE ME!

i didn't do any work the entire afternoon.
in fact, i was out, sort of wasting my time.
went town to meet mummy for lunch.
parked at orchard parksuites (service apartments behind wisma & taka) where mummy was meeting her client.
had crystal jade.
saw liza del rosario (s'pore open champion!).
was initially supposed to study at the lobby of orchard parksuites but ended up going with mummy for her appointment at grange residences.
omg, i love that place!
the house is about 2600 square feet.
worth from $3.5 million.
check out the photos in the latest addition of albums.

a bright beautiful saturday morning with the birds chirping and the trees swaying.
i am sitting in my room allowing my fingers the freedom on the keyboard.
today is the only day in the week that i slept in.
woke at 9.15am with relief that the stomach cramps are gone.
i think i was having gastric yesterday that started in the afternoon.
had sour salad for lunch which i suppose was the spark of the cramps.
i ate biscuits and bread after that but it didn't seem to help.
went for a swim with jem (she came over to study) then headed down to her house.
around 8.40pm, mummy came to pick me up from kovan and we went to chomp chomp to eat.
i was starving!
i don't know how much i ate but i knew that i was going to kill my stomach because the pain was getting worse.
true enough, the cramps were so bad i was in major discomfort.
while sending jem home, i discovered the links to so many roads.
now i'm much more familiar with that area already.
mummy dear was happily on the phone that she exited to old tampines road.
it was a big big round.
came out at pasir ris and took expressway all the way back.
i slept the entire journey home and awoke to a better stomach.
so that's my stomach experience which happens very often.
used to it but when the pain attacks, it takes a lot of effort to even stand up straight.
anyway, the main point is that the food at chomp chomp looks all so appetising.
i'm definitely going back there again! most probably after prelims.
and with more people so that there'll be a variety of food.
serangoon gardens has changed so much.
it's not just chomp chomp but also the restaurants.
one day, i'll try all.
thank goodness i'm not staying in that area, or else i would be a PIG!

two of the most productive days just past. studying with jem is good! focused enough to do papers and someone available to clarify doubts. at my house yesterday and today we went esplanade library. it was freezing! got chased away at 1+ because the self-study policy said so. had lunch at kenny rogers suntec and stayed on thereafter. saw kw at marina square macs with his friend. ivan was there too! weird how kw and his GUY friend were seated apart while ivan was seated between TWO girls. finally at 5+, the manager decided to chase us away. but he was very polite and allowed us to stay on till the restaurant gets packed. actually, throughout the hours i was there, it was never crowded. that's how slack business is now. got my retainers today and i'm having a little speech problem. sounding very muffled. there's hardly anybody to talk to online nowadays. everyone's probably busy mugging. countdown: 4 days. how time flies. my brother's making me MAD!! hating him for now. it just sucks being the eldest.

had lunch with uncle jansen and mav today. it's been a year since he came out and years since i last saw him. he's still the same old nice guy. i believe whatever happened was a moment of folly. you could also say my view is biased because he's been too nice to actually believe it's true. "TIRED OF LIVING." that's his famous phrase and also the first thing he said to me when i met him. heard about all the politics that is going on in the local bowling scene. talked about many many things. i have no reason not to believe him. in fact, i feel his words are real. after all, being in there before gives you no reason to defame others unless you're the type that is totally ir-rescue-able. mr nice he will always be, you can see that he has changed for the better, more down-to-earth now.

slacked with mav the whole afternoon. i think both of us were living in fantasy world - no exams, no stress. i'm feeling sore about not pushing myself harder and further. NO TENSION! i swear i started early but it seems to have come to a halt now. attempting past year papers demoralises me, not motivates me to work harder. i think i'm lost, out of focus, losing my aim. hope to get momentum back asap.

surfing friendster just now and found out that someone is attached. the thing is that the other half is a missing clue. there is a very misleading testimonial which mav and i read with dropped jaws. shan't bother about finding out the mystery person since it doesn't concern me. can't reveal the identity of the person if not i think i'll be murdered or all the fans will haunt me. stumbled upon ronald susilo's account too. it's real! saw allan wu on his motorbike yesterday at balmoral road. am i in some kind of star-hotness?

wasted my entire weekend. totally unproductive.

anyway, new photos are uploaded. check out the pretty flowers!

i feel like crap now.

initailly it was the design expt. paper today.
i DIDN'T know we had to use a magnet or a.c.
and i couldn't get them to stop talking about it which was quite frustrating.
the paper's already in the hands of the marker.
your fate is sealed, there's nothing you can do anymore.
so why harp on it?

then it was my sleeping issue.
i can't help but fall asleep everyday after 3pm when i'm supposed to be studying.
take last night for example, it happened again!
i fell asleep unknowingly leaving the lights on till dawn.

now it's curiosity that has killed me.
really gotta tie those itchy hands of mine up.
i shall self-proclaim me to be Miss Inquisitive.
maybe i should just stay away from information-transmitting devices for the time being.
this way, i'll be able to care only about my own life.

chem prac tmr. this time, i'll need more luck. hopefully the chemicals are not contaminated, i get the right data, solve the mystery ions etc. ALL THE BEST!

running on the threadmill can be quite fun especially when sis was blasting the gym with RnB. i can turn something i dislike terribly to something that i can deal with. the same goes for something that i like so much can be transformed to one that i hate to the core. i hope it doesn't happen. i don't want it to happen but somehow i feel it is going to happen sooner or later. it's either me being paranoid and overly sensitive or it's the truth. i hate being lied to, who likes it anyway? the more i discover the worse it gets so maybe i should just lay low. i doubt anyone can understand what the hell i'm saying. that's because i don't want to be too blatant here. talking in circles and playing mind games, that is my forte. having said so much, i've come to conclude that guys who exude a whole lot of charm are not worth the effort.

design experiment is tmr. wish me luck!